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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? 9L7p3
Advertising is an art of showcasing a product to its future consumers. We can divide all advertising products or services into useless or useful. Freedom of choice is one of the key principles of a democratic society. I agree with the view point that adverts create artificial wants. If I am seeing a product first time in the market I won't try it. Because am not familiar with that product. When l seeing a product advertisement again and again it's giving me an impression bout that product. Next time am seeing that in a shop, I will think about all positive sides of that product given by advertisement. Advertisements always giving the image of success and glamour. They are hiding the negative sides. Adverts also have some positive sides. It helps people save money by informing them about real bargains. Catalogues and brochures enable people to compare products and services. We can find about offers and prices easily. Each customer is different. Same product will not convince all buyers. For example parents are aware about health issues of some chocolate and food products. But by the influence of children's they are forced to buy it. Finally, I would conclude that a lot of adverts create artificial wants.
Advertising is an art of showcasing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
to its future consumers. We can divide all advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
or services into useless or useful. Freedom of choice is one of the key principles of a democratic society. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the view point that adverts create artificial wants.

“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
I am seeing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
first
time in the market I won't try it.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
am not familiar with that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. When l seeing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
advertisement again and again it's giving me an impression bout that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
Next
time
Did you mean "am I"?
am
seeing that in a shop, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by advertisement. Advertisements always giving the image of success and glamour. They are hiding the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides.

Adverts
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
save money by informing them about real bargains.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Catalogues' is British English.
Catalogues
and brochures enable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to compare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and services. We can find about offers and prices
easily
.

Each customer is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
. Same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
will not convince all buyers.
For example
parents are aware about health issues of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
chocolate and food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
by the influence of children's they
are forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it.
Finally
, I would conclude that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
adverts create artificial wants.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
207 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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