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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Some people argue that advertisements force them to buy unnecessary things. While others find it to improve knowledge about new products. In this essay, I will discuss both point of views and give my opinion. Let’s start with positives of advertisements. Firstly, It gives ideas and specifications of new products. For example, smart phone advertisement gives us idea about new features available in latest smart phones so, we can compare features between different smart phones. Secondly, we can compare prices of the same product provided by different companies. For Example, fragrance spray is provided by different companies like Axe, Mankind and Old Dutch. So, we can compare prices and save some money. Furthermore, advertisement is helpful to solve day to day problems. Without good advertisement, we would never know about ‘Fevicol’ which can fix any broken items. Due to advertisements, we get to know how to use this product. There are many such products available in the market which is very helpful in our daily life. Without advertisement, we would never have been made aware of such products. On the other hand, some time due to attractive advertisement, we buy things which are not useful in day-to-day life. When advertisements give large discounts on certain products, it attracts people to buy unnecessary things. When/upon seeing/Ads displaying/ we see large discount on toys, gadgets and decoration products, we buy it only to later find it as non-useful products in our house. If individuals take care of their budget and only buy necessary things, then advertisement is helpful to save money and give knowledge of new products. So, Pros overweight the cons.
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Some
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people
argue that
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advertisements
force them to
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buy
unnecessary things.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
others find it to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
knowledge about
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new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. In this essay, I will discuss both point of views and
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give
my opinion.

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Let
’s
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start
with positives of
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advertisements
.
Firstly
, It
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gives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and specifications of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
For example
,
Nowadays it’s more common to write this as one word.
smart phone
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advertisement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about
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new
features available in
A determiner is probably missing here: “the latest”.
latest
Nowadays it’s more common to write this as one word.
smart phones
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so
, we can compare features between
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different
Nowadays it’s more common to write this as one word.
smart phones
.
Secondly
, we can compare prices of the same
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product
provided by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
For Example
, fragrance spray
is provided
by
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different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
like Axe, Mankind and
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Old
Dutch.
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So
, we can compare prices and save
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some
money.

Furthermore
,
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advertisement
is helpful to solve day to day problems. Without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
, we would never know about ‘
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fevicol
’ which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
any broken items. Due to
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advertisements
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this
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product
. There are
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many
such
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products
available in the market which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful in our daily life. Without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
, we would never have
been made
aware of such products.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time due to attractive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things which are not useful in day-to-day life. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
large discounts on certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, it attracts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
unnecessary things. When/upon seeing/Ads displaying/ we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
large discount on toys, gadgets and decoration
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to later find it as non-useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.

If individuals take care of their budget and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
necessary things, then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is helpful to save money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, Pros overweight the cons.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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