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SOME PEOPLE SAY BEST WAY TO PROMOTE PUBLIC HEALTH IS TO INCREASE SPORTS FACILITIES DISCUSS THE VIEW AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.

SOME PEOPLE SAY BEST WAY TO PROMOTE PUBLIC HEALTH IS TO INCREASE SPORTS FACILITIES DISCUSS THE VIEW AND GIVE YOUR OPINION. 0AwXO
In recent year’s many people have come up with few new ideas to develop public health. Other such idea is to increase the count of sports facilities, the real question is how effective is this method to the general public health? It this essay both sides of arguments will be discussed and stake my opinion and give my opinion in the following paragraph with relevant examples. Firstly, recent survey that included a group of citizens such as parents, youngsters in early 20s etc, suggest that increasing the sports clubs is not going to benefit the public health. The reason is, most of them visit clubs at the end of the day after working hours, leisure time or weekends were as in some areas where sports facilities are already located, they have not been used to the fullest, in addition to the poor maintenance. For instance, huge geographical countries like India, has never been easy task to establish a sports centers in every district. Spending such huge amount of money is not worth instead some portion from the same amount can be invested in educating the citizens for health awareness which is more effective. However, in parallel with the view that increasing sports facilities to promote public health has merely effected the lifestyle of an individual citizen. Health awareness should start from home. For example, food contributes 80 percentage of one’s health, a proper diet awareness should be organized through campaign and advertisement marketing. Besides, authority should invest bathroom for men and women. Furthermore, adding extra hour on weekly basis to the children’s curriculum is most effective method to improve the cause. Lastly, senior citizen, stress is a clear and major factor, hence a major rule for them to get involved in fitness activities from the government can make much difference and regular health checkup camps for working class people with small clinics in each location is a good method. To conclude, every person is responsible for his own health, so self awareness, proper diet and initiating a step towards healthy life is a most effective method. In my view, increasing the sports facilities is not a permanent solution for health awareness.
In recent year’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with few new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Other such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is to increase the count of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities, the real question is how effective is this method to the general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
? It this essay both sides of arguments will
be discussed
and stake my opinion and give my opinion in the following paragraph with relevant examples.

Firstly
, recent survey that included a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
such as parents, youngsters in early 20s etc, suggest that increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
clubs is not going to benefit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. The reason is, most of them visit clubs at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the day after working hours, leisure time or weekends were as in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities are already located, they have not been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to the fullest,
in addition
to the poor maintenance.
For instance
, huge geographical countries like India, has never been easy task to establish a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "center"?
centers
in every district. Spending such huge amount of money is not worth
instead
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
portion from the same amount can
be invested
in educating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
which is more effective.

However
, in parallel with the view that increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities to promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
has
merely
effected the lifestyle of an individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
from home.
For example
, food contributes 80 percentage of one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, a proper diet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
should
be organized
through campaign and advertisement marketing.
Besides
, authority should invest bathroom for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women.
Furthermore
, adding extra hour on weekly basis to the children’s curriculum is
Did you mean "the most"?
most
effective method to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the cause.
Lastly
, senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
and major factor,
hence
a major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in fitness activities from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
much difference and regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
checkup camps for working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
clinics in each location is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
method.

To conclude
, every person is responsible for his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
self
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
, proper diet and initiating a step towards healthy life is a most effective method. In my view, increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities is not a permanent solution for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
.
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IELTS essay SOME PEOPLE SAY BEST WAY TO PROMOTE PUBLIC HEALTH IS TO INCREASE SPORTS FACILITIES DISCUSS THE VIEW AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
361 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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