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some people prefer to work in the same type of job throughout their lifetime while, other like to change the type of job they do. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

some people prefer to work in the same type of job throughout their lifetime while, other like to change the type of job they do. n6VNR
A group of individuals gives preference to work in the similar kind of job in their whole life. Whereas, other people are preferring to change the various kind of job. This essay intends to analyze both the viewpoints along with my opinion in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, why people are spending their work on a similar type of job for several reasons. The first and foremost factor is that people can easily get a promotion in a few time because they have experience of working in the same field which is not possible for them who change their job places very soon. As a result, workers in the same place. Secondly, some people are being pressurized due to family burden because they are the single person who earns money for their family members in order to fulfill the basic requirement of family members. That is why, people are sticking to the same job for their lifetime. However, if people change their job then they learn number of skills and become creative person because they can get in-depth knowledge of each field. Therefore, they will choose better job by involving in every domain in their future. Moreover, people can explore different working environment as it can change their mood and routine. Hence, working on different workplace indeed helpful for the growth of the mind. To conclude, working on a different workplace improves the skills and gives an experience of different environment, however in my opinion, people have to work on a same place because a person can be promoted in a few time and have a satisfied life by fulfulling the needs of their family members.
A group of individuals gives preference to work in the similar kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in their whole life.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
The verb 'preferring' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are preferring
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
the various kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. This essay intends to analyze both the viewpoints along with my opinion in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are spending their work on a similar type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for several reasons. The
first
and foremost factor is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a promotion in a
Possible agreement error. The noun time seems to be countable; consider using: "few times".
few time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have experience of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in the same field which is not possible for them who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.
As a result
, workers in the same place.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
being pressurized
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
burden
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are the single person who earns money for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members in order to fulfill the basic requirement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.
That is
why,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are sticking to the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for their lifetime.
However
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
then they learn number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and become creative person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in-depth knowledge of each field.
Therefore
, they will choose better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
by involving in every domain in their future.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
environment as it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their mood and routine.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
workplace
indeed
helpful for the growth of the mind.
To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
workplace
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and gives an experience of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
environment,
however
in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work on a same place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a person can
be promoted
in a
Possible agreement error. The noun time seems to be countable; consider using: "few times".
few time
and have a satisfied life by
Possible spelling mistake found.
fulfulling
the needs of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.
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IELTS essay some people prefer to work in the same type of job throughout their lifetime while, other like to change the type of job they do.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
277 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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