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Some people prefer to spend more time improving their careers. Others think that it’s more important to spend time with family and friends. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people prefer to spend more time improving their careers. Others think that it’s more important to spend time with family and friends. bYbq6
According to some people most of the important things in life do not have a price tag attached to them. I do not quite agree with this idea. While I do admit that many important things in life are actually free, there are also many other things that can only be bought with money. Not every important thing in life is free. People need financial resources to purchase basic necessities. These include food, shelter and clothes which cannot be bought without spending money. Thus, a person needs funds for their survival and to make both ends meet. Education is not free; neither is healthcare. Without these necessities it is impossible to lead a happy and contented life. If you have a family you have to earn enough to support them. Actually, even the love between family members cannot be sustained if their basic necessities are not met. Obviously, there are many things that have to be bought. Of course, there are also many things that come free of cost. For example, the love of parents is free. The joy and security that we get within the four walls of our home is free. Friendship is free. Sunlight and rain are free. All of these things are crucial for our existence and they come free of cost. In conclusion, certain things very important for our emotional well being are certainly free. However, there are many other things that only money can buy. In my opinion, it is important for everyone to earn enough to satisfy their physical and material needs. At the same time, it is also important for us to find time to enjoy other blessings that come free of cost.
According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
things in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
do not have a price tag attached to them. I do not quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. While I do admit that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
things in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
are actually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other things that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
with money.

Not every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
thing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
need financial resources to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
. These include food, shelter and clothes which cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
without spending money.
Thus
, a person needs funds for their survival and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
both ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
. Education is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
; neither is healthcare. Without these necessities it is impossible to lead a happy and contented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
you have a family you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to support them. Actually, even the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
between family members cannot
be sustained
if their
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
are not met.
Obviously
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
.

Of course
, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
of cost.
For example
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
of parents is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
. The joy and security that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
within the four walls of our home is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
. Friendship is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
. Sunlight and rain are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
. All of these things are crucial for our
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
existence and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
of cost.

In conclusion
, certain things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for our emotional
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
are
certainly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other things that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
money can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
. In my opinion, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for everyone to earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to satisfy their physical and material needs. At the same time, it is
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for us to find time to enjoy other blessings that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
of cost.
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IELTS essay Some people prefer to spend more time improving their careers. Others think that it’s more important to spend time with family and friends.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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