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Some people prefer shopping in shopping centres while others prefer local markets. do you agree with this or not ?

Some people prefer shopping in shopping centres while others prefer local markets. do you agree with this or not? 9LlDj
it is refutable that, in this modern era shopping plays a crucial role in every person life. A certain segment of society believes that, big shopping mall should be converted into the small local trades in cities and town. I completely disagree with this statement. I will delve the point in upcoming paragraphs before reach the conclusion. to begin with, the shopping malls provide a lot of benefits to the individual for their better life. owing to, the hectic life schedule time is very important for everyone. so, Malls help the individuals for their time save, people can purchase the grocery, clothes, books and decoration decorating things under the one roof. secondly, shopping malls help to reduce the unemployment rate that is good for people and also for the nation. for instance, due to, couple of shops in the mall's shopkeepers need servant for their shops, so they provide an opportunity to the people for job. not only this, malls always enhance the beauty of the country and also cities and towns. furthermore, local trades also play a vital role in an individuals life. the shop owner does not need to spend the amount of money on shop opening, the person needs a small area some people like to buy their needy things from shops. to illustrate, every person is not rich in every nation, which people are living in slums, villages and small towns they always like to purchase the things from local shops. thus, local shops have their own importance. in conclusion, local trade is good for everyone that is important. however, the shopping mall should not be converted in small shops that would affect the economic status due to attraction tourism also come there.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is refutable that, in this modern era
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
plays a crucial role in every person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. A certain segment of society believes that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
should
be converted
into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
trades in cities and town. I completely disagree with this statement. I will delve the point in upcoming paragraphs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reach the conclusion.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits to the individual for their better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
owing
to, the hectic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
schedule time is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for everyone.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Malls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the individuals for their time save,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the grocery, clothes, books and decoration decorating things under the one roof.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the unemployment rate
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
also
for the nation.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance, due to,
It seems that an article is missing.
couple of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
in the mall's shopkeepers need servant for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they provide an opportunity to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for job.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
always enhance the beauty of the country and
also
cities and towns.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
trades
also
play a vital role in an
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "individuals'" or "individual's"?
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
owner does not need to spend the amount of money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
opening, the person needs a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
area
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their needy things from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
illustrate, every person is not rich in every nation, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are living in slums, villages and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
towns they always like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the things from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
importance.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
conclusion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
trade is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for everyone
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
should not
be converted
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
that would affect the economic status due to attraction tourism
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
there.
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IELTS essay Some people prefer shopping in shopping centres while others prefer local markets. do you agree with this or not?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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