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Some people claim that what people eat in many Western countries is unhealthy and that their diet is getting worse. Critics say that these countries should change their diet. What are you opinions on this?

Nowadays, in many Western countries, there are various healthy food options as well as healthy dieters. However, it seems that the majority of people in Western countries eat unhealthily and that their diet is getting worse. Critics are commanding that these countries should improve their diet. This essay will discuss my opinions about this assumption. To me, most of the unhealthy foods are produced by Western companies. As a matter of fact, both foreigners and local citizens Western countries consume a huge amount of high- calory food. As for local people, overconsumption of cheap and unhealthy food may result from hard labour jobs. The reason for this is usually because these foods are cost-effective and can provide instant energy for heavy work. Therefore, in such circumstances, it is unlikely to change a person’s diet because these sorts of food are precious to them. Healthy diets can hardly be accessible to those who come to live in Western countries. Therefore, a lot of people will ignore their old healthy eating habits and dive into a foody world in Western nations like America or England. Hence, it is particularly important for these immigrants to refrain from their excitement towards unhealthy food. In other words, if these people like to reward themselves with salivating food products, they should avoid overconsuming them so as not to become addicted to an unhealthy diet. In my opinion, it is better to abstain eating unhealthy food rather than changing one's diet completely. To conclude, even though many people eat unhealthily in Western countries, some people can maintain a balanced diet so as to avoid health problems. For those who come from other areas, they can get attracted by appetising foods in Western countries. However, they should not change their diet completely but rather reduce the amount gradually so that they can keep their appetite and avoid digestion disorder.
Nowadays, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, there are various healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
options
as well
as healthy dieters.
However
, it seems that the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
eat
unhealthily
and that their diet is getting worse. Critics are commanding that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their diet. This essay will discuss my opinions about this assumption.

To me, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are produced
by Western
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. As a matter of fact, both foreigners and local citizens Western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
consume a huge amount of high-
Possible spelling mistake found.
calory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. As for local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, overconsumption of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
may result from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
Possible spelling mistake. ‘labour’ is British English.
labour
jobs.
The reason for this is
usually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are cost
-effective and can provide instant energy for heavy work.
Therefore
, in such circumstances, it is unlikely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
a person’s diet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these sorts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
are precious to them.

Healthy diets can hardly be accessible to those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in Western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
healthy eating habits and dive into a
Possible spelling mistake found.
foody
world in Western nations like America or England.
Hence
, it is
particularly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for these immigrants to refrain from their excitement towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
In other words
, if these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to reward themselves with salivating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
products, they should avoid
Possible spelling mistake found.
overconsuming
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as not to become addicted to an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
diet. In my opinion, it is better to abstain eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
rather
than changing one's diet completely.

To conclude
,
even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
eat
unhealthily
in Western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can maintain a balanced diet
‘So as to’ expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using “to”
so as to
avoid health problems. For those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from other areas, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attracted by
Possible spelling mistake. ‘appetising’ is British English.
appetising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
in Western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
However
, they should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their diet completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
rather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount
gradually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their appetite and avoid digestion disorder.
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IELTS essay Some people claim that what people eat in many Western countries is unhealthy and that their diet is getting worse. Critics say that these countries should change their diet. What are you opinions on this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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