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Some people claim that technological development will lead to decrease significantly of popular traditional activities in near future. I agree with this argurement, it may be true some case of scieties but in other part it seem to be unaffectable by modern life.

Some people claim that technological development will lead to decrease significantly of popular traditional activities in near future. I agree with this argurement, it may be true some case of scieties but in other part it seem to be unaffectable by modern life. g8glO
Some people claim that technological development will lead to decrease significantly of popular traditional activities in near future. I agree with this argurement, it may be true some case of scieties but in other part it seem to be unaffectable by modern life. Argurement about traditional cultures should not alter be modern activities. Nowadays, with a technological development such as smartphone, wifi network and 4G-5G in over the world, adults even young people ca search everything on Internet. But it has some drawbacks, it prevents brain storm activities of children when they study new thing or new subject at school. For instance, in the past, secondary shool and high school student must think and storm about difficult exercise that lead to students could have more productive explaination ways about this problem and made them remember deeply. But now when they have some exercises even difficult or easy one, they also have chance to search the result in Internet without thinking and brain stormingg. As a result, that is a terrible passivity for social improvement. In the other hand, I agree with technological development will be better in modern life. First of all, during Covid-19 pandemic causes various unpredictable cases such as workers can not go to the office, students can not go to school because they must stay at home to secure their health which lead to all traditional activities must be changed to new methods. For example in many companies, people can work from home throught online flatform such as Zoom, Google Meet, or Teams which are essential tools at that time to connect people in many places. In school aspect, teachers must create new lesson and new study method for studying online because it is pretty tough to student concentrate on learning. Furthermore, people stay at home cannot shop anything in market, they can order food products via apps in their phone likes Grab or Market Online to make sure that people will not lack of neccessary things. Finally, people can learn some course in the Internet to enhance knowledge during pandemic. In conclusion, nowadays, we live in modern life which are more and more improvement so we cannot deny that traditional cultures will be altered but we must realize a negative aspect to enhance and possitive one to avoid.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that technological development will lead to decrease
significantly
of popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in near future. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
Possible spelling mistake found.
argurement
, it may be true
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
case of
Possible spelling mistake found.
scieties
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in other part it
Did you mean "seems"?
seem
to be
Possible spelling mistake found.
unaffectable
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
life.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Argurement
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
cultures should not alter be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. Nowadays, with a technological development such as smartphone,
Did you mean "Wi-Fi"? (This is the officially approved term by the Wi-Fi Alliance.)
wifi
network and 4G-5G in over the world, adults even young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ca search everything on Internet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
brain storm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
of children when they study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
thing or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
subject at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
For instance
, in the past, secondary
Possible spelling mistake found.
shool
and high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and storm about difficult exercise that lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could have more productive
Possible spelling mistake found.
explaination
ways about this problem and made them remember
deeply
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
when they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
exercises even difficult or easy one, they
also
have chance to search the result in Internet without thinking and brain
Possible spelling mistake found.
stormingg
.
As a result
,
that is
a terrible passivity for social improvement. In the other hand, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with technological development will be better in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
life.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, during Covid-19 pandemic causes various unpredictable cases such as workers can not go to the office,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can not go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
stay at home to secure their health which lead to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
methods.
For example
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can work from home
Possible spelling mistake found.
throught
online
Possible spelling mistake found.
flatform
such as Zoom, Google
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Meet
, or Teams which are essential tools at that time to connect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
aspect, teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
lesson and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
study method for studying online
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is pretty tough to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
concentrate on learning.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stay at home cannot shop anything in market, they can order food products via apps in their phone likes Grab or Market Online to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not lack of
Possible spelling mistake found.
neccessary
things.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
course
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the Internet".
in the Internet
to enhance knowledge during pandemic.
In conclusion
, nowadays, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
life which are more and more improvement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we cannot deny that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
cultures will
be altered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
realize a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspect to enhance and
Possible spelling mistake found.
possitive
one to avoid.
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IELTS essay Some people claim that technological development will lead to decrease significantly of popular traditional activities in near future. I agree with this argurement, it may be true some case of scieties but in other part it seem to be unaffectable by modern life.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
382 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Some people claim that technological development will lead to decrease significantly of popular traditional activities in near future. I agree with this argurement, it may be true some case of scieties but in other part it seem to be unaffectable by modern life.