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Some people claim that family members are more important than friends. Do you agree or disagree?

For many people family is more significant than friends. I believe that it profoundly depends on how close-knit family or, in contrast, dysfunctional family does a person have. On the one hand, there is family, that many people think they are the most important ones in their lives. In my opinion it is true, but under some conditions. First condition is, if you had a carefree childhood and your family members had a good relationship with each other. Secondly, if your immediate family cares about you and support you, mentally and financially, in your decisions and encourage you to achieve best goals in your life. And at last, if they know you and respect you in the way you are. What I mean is to accept you for who you are and do not want to change you. I believe that if a family has these three conditions, they would be much more important than any other one. On the other hand, there are friends that many people think they worth more than family. I think in many circumstances, family could be replaced by friends because of unhealthy family relationships. friends can be much more efficient in one’s life since following reasons; to begin with, people choose their friends on their own with their ideal personality of one person. Secondly, in most of the situation friends are as the same age as a person is, since that they may have many things in common and in addition, they can understand each other in a better way. And last but not the least, people most of the time does not afraid of being judged by their friends because they have a feeling that a friend could percept and accept them in the way they are. In conclusion, I believe that both family and friends have merits or demerits in a person’s life. And the position of family or friend in our lives completely refers to our personality and the quality of the relationship with our family members.
For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is more significant than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. I believe that it
profoundly
depends on how close-knit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
or,
in contrast
, dysfunctional
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family
does a
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person
have.

On the one hand, there is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they are the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
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ones
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In my opinion it is true,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
under
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
conditions.
First
condition is, if you had a carefree childhood and your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members had a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship with each
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other
.
Secondly
, if your immediate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
cares about you and support you, mentally and
financially
, in your decisions and encourage you to
A determiner is probably missing here: "achieve the best".
achieve best
goals in your life. And at last, if they know you and respect you in the way you are. What I mean is to accept you for who you are and do not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
you. I believe that if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
has these three conditions, they would be much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
one.

On the
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other
hand, there are
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friends
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they worth more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
circumstances,
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family
could
be replaced
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relationships.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
friends
can be much more efficient in one’s life since following reasons; to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
with their ideal personality of one
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person
.
Secondly
, in most of the situation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are as the same age as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is, since that they may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things in common and
in addition
, they can understand each
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other
in a better way. And last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least,
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people
most of the time does not afraid of
being judged
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have a feeling that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
could
Possible spelling mistake found.
percept
and accept them in the way they are.

In conclusion
, I believe that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
have merits or demerits in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
life. And the position of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
completely refers to our personality and the quality of the relationship with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.
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IELTS essay Some people claim that family members are more important than friends.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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