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Some people claim that family members are more important than friends. Do you agree or disagree?

There are so many persons in our life and we have different relations with different people. While some people regard friends to be highly crucial, I would argue that family members play a more significant role in our life. Family is the biggest strength of any person. Firstly, family members especially parents are more involved in individuals’ upbringing. From one’s primary school to tertiary education, parents set a role model, spend time to accompany them and educate them to be a useful member of the society. In addition, our parents and grandparents love and nurture us since the day we were born. It is them who provide us with various forms of life necessities including shelter, clothes and food. Without their support we are less likely to survive let alone receive education, the cost of which is also covered by them; however, we cannot receive such kinds of help from our friends. Admittedly, after attending schools, we all tend to socialize with our friends / peers who are more understanding than family members because usually they are of the same age as us. A person can share personal problems with friends and get sound advice from them, whereas the suggestions of their family members are not acceptable to them, due to the fact that their adult parents cannot stand in their shoes. Nevertheless, this benefit is not significant enough, compared to the aid that their families offer to them. In conclusion, it is true that friends play a significant role in our life. However, family members are more important, care for growth, give without expecting anything from us and help us overcome life difficulties.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
persons in our
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
relations with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
regard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
to be
highly
crucial, I would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
play a more significant role in our life.

Family is the biggest strength of any person.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are more involved in individuals’ upbringing. From one’s primary school to tertiary education,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
set a role model, spend time to accompany them and educate them to be a useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
of the society.
In addition
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and grandparents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and nurture us since the day we
were born
. It is them who provide us with various forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
necessities including shelter, clothes and food. Without their support we are less likely to survive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
alone receive education, the cost of which is
also
covered by them;
however
, we cannot receive such kinds of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from our friends.

Admittedly
, after attending schools, we all tend to socialize with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
/ peers who are more understanding than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
usually
they are of the same age as us. A person can share personal problems with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sound advice from them, whereas the suggestions of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
are not acceptable to them, due to the fact that their adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
cannot stand in their shoes.
Nevertheless
, this benefit is not significant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, compared to the aid that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
offer to them.

In conclusion
, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
play a significant role in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, care for growth, give without expecting anything from us and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us overcome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
difficulties.
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IELTS essay Some people claim that family members are more important than friends.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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