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Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions. KAXk
Nowadays, there are always a popular topic discuss about the objectives of education. Some people feel that education should be educate students become a useful person so that can help society in the future whereas some people believe that it should help students to achieve their goals. I will discuss both sides but personally, I agree with the latter, which is helping them to find out their life value. The benefit of education helps the individuals to become a useful person is helping them to foster in their moral sound values and the outlook of the world and life. Education provides the high moral standard and it is easy to recognize the people who are having high education and low education. Moreover, after they educated, they give back to the society and make some contribution to society. For examples, they become a volunteer or to be a part of charity member to help people who need help. On the other hand, some people feel that education should help people to be ambitious and achieve their ambitions with help them to find out their life value. It is very important and quite difficult to achieve personal ambition and their life values so that education should help them. Added to that, it is a trend to into high and higher education to become qualified employees to earn their life values and happiness. Moreover, they also get fulfillment when they achieve their goals. In conclusion, help individual to be a useful person for society is important but help them to achieve their ambitions is more important to get their own life value. Life value and happiness are more important than anything else.
Nowadays, there are always a popular topic
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
objectives of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should be
Consider using the past participle "educated"?
educate
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a useful person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
in the future whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
students to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
their goals. I will discuss both sides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter, which is
In informal texts, 'to' is not necessary. Do you mean "helping them find"?
helping them to find
out their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
value.

The benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
the individuals to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a useful person is helping them to foster in their moral sound values and the outlook of the world and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
provides the high moral standard and it is easy to recognize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are having high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Moreover
, after they educated, they give back to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
contribution to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. For examples, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a volunteer or to be a part of charity member to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be ambitious and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
their ambitions with
In informal texts, 'to' is not necessary. Do you mean "help them find"?
help them to find
out their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
and quite difficult to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
personal ambition and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
values
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Added
to that, it is a trend to into high and higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
qualified employees to earn their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
values and happiness.
Moreover
, they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fulfillment when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
their goals.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
individual to be a useful person for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
their ambitions is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
and happiness are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
than anything else.
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IELTS essay Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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