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some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). to what extend do you agree or disagree

some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). YVpQ
There are considerable amount of people who opine that social activities, such as volunteering, sport courses for toddlers and charities, for which people do not have to pay money, must be included in the education systems of all school, while others claim that it is not necessary. I completely agree with this statement and I will support this view with arguments in the following paragraphs. Firstly, the idea of involving free community service as the part of school activities can help students to set their perception about volunteerism. It goes as a systematic way of thinking. Knowledge can affect attitude and lead to behavior subsequently. And this will help them a lot in the future if they understand the full benefits of volunteering and continue to do it. For example, by writing down their many years of experience, they can easily access to a good university. Because absolutely everyone appreciates such qualities in people. Secondly, increasing cognitive value is considerably a task of school. Because school is a place for the educational process, it must be aimed to not only improving knowledge but also insights of students. One of the ways to cope with this issue is by managing to volunteer over social events by pupils as a part of lessons. This idea can help to boost students willingness in understanding social needs and administering the prompt way to overcome the social problem.
There are considerable
amount
of
people
who opine that
social
activities, such as volunteering, sport courses for toddlers and charities, for which
people
do not
have to
pay money,
must
be included
in the education systems of all
school
, while others claim that it is not necessary. I completely
agree
with this statement and I will support this view with arguments in the following paragraphs.

Firstly
, the
idea
of involving free community service as the part of
school
activities can
help
students to set their perception about volunteerism. It goes as a systematic way of thinking. Knowledge can affect attitude and lead to behavior
subsequently
. And this will
help
them a lot in the future if they understand the full benefits of volunteering and continue to do it.
For example
, by writing down their
many
years of experience, they can
easily
access to a
good
university.
Because
absolutely
everyone appreciates such qualities in
people
.

Secondly
, increasing cognitive value is
considerably
a task of
school
.
Because
school
is a place for the educational process, it
must
be aimed
to not
only
improving knowledge
but
also
insights of students. One of the ways to cope with this issue is by managing to volunteer over
social
events
by pupils as a part of lessons. This
idea
can
help
to boost students willingness in understanding
social
needs and administering the prompt way to overcome the
social
problem.
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IELTS essay some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children).

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
233 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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