Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that the government is wasting money on the arts, this money could be better spent elsewhere?

These days, some persons believe that the government should not spend too many resources on the arts, perhaps the money spent on something else. Frankly, I agree with one part of this opinion. Firstly, arts do help people in their lives. The government wants to teach people history through the arts (movies; paintings; sculptures, etc. ) In consequence, we can learn a part of our history. For instance, the statue Venus in Louvre Museum shows a sign of the Antique period. It would attract lots of tourists around the world. Hence, arts are the national treasure of the country. That explains the reason why the government pays a sum to find the fortunes. Secondly, the government uses art as a way of communicating with the citizens. Posters, caricatures, films often have a deep meaning. They are used to emphasize people's bad habits, friendship, etc. We can mention the movie "Invictus" which describes the desire to unify two races in one country. Therefore, segregation is banned. On the other hand, the government indeed tends to use much money on arts. The property aims to aid poor people. In some developed countries (France, the UK, etc. ), journalists report that money often wastes on art. I believe that they should use finances to help suffering children in Haiti, South Africa, etc. . . Moreover, fine art is considered a form of leisure, thus an extra-activity. Consequently, the authority should focus on the reality (economic, social, environment) instead of artworks. People care about politics, sciences because it affects more in their lives. Although art is useful in society, I admit that the executive should keep in mind that art is only a fiction form to improve human lifestyles. There are more things to look up in the world.
These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
persons believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should not spend too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
resources on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, perhaps the money spent on something else.
Frankly
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with one part of this opinion.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
wants to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
history through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
(movies; paintings; sculptures, etc.
Don’t put a space before the closing parenthesis.
)
In consequence, we can learn a part of our history.
For instance
, the statue Venus in Louvre Museum
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of the Antique period. It would attract lots of tourists around the world.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
are the national treasure of the country. That
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
the reason why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
pays a sum to find the fortunes.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
as a way of communicating with the citizens. Posters, caricatures, films
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have a deep meaning. They are
In the grammatical structure ‘pronoun + be/get + used + to + verb’, the verb ‘used’ is used with the gerund: “used to emphasizing”.
used to emphasize
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits, friendship, etc. We can mention the movie
Use a smart opening quote here.
"
Possible spelling mistake found.
Invictus
Use a smart closing quote here.
"
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
the desire to unify two races in one country.
Therefore
, segregation
is banned
.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
indeed
tends to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
much money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. The property aims to aid poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
(France, the UK, etc.
Don’t put a space before the closing parenthesis.
)
, journalists report that money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
wastes on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
. I believe that they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
finances to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
The verb ‘help’ is used with an infinitive: “to suffer” or “suffer”.
suffering
children in Haiti, South Africa, etc.
Two consecutive dots
.
Don’t put a space before the full stop.
.
Moreover
, fine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is considered
a form of leisure,
thus
an extra-activity.
Consequently
, the authority should focus on the reality (economic, social, environment)
instead
of artworks.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
care about politics, sciences
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it affects more in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is useful in society, I admit that the executive should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in mind that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a fiction form to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
human lifestyles. There are more things to look up in the world.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people believe that the government is wasting money on the arts, this money could be better spent elsewhere?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts