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Some people believe that the experiences children have before they go to school will have the greatest effect on their future life. Others argue that experiences gained when they are teenagers have a bigger influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

Some people believe that the experiences children have before they go to school will have the greatest effect on their future life. Others argue that experiences gained when they are teenagers have a bigger influence. AOwx
There is no denying that each stage of life plays a crucial role in individual growth. While some people claim that childhood experiences are formative, I believe that teenage years have a more profound influence on their lives. On the one hand, events before education at schools exert some noticeable impacts on children’s lives. First, a child’s personality and behavior are powerfully shaped by parental upbringing. To exemplify, if parents show their unconditional love towards their children and teach them proper manners, they may become law-abiding citizens in the future and vice versa. Last but not least, early exposure to the surroundings is likely to foster preschoolers’ cognitive development. They will be able to learn valuable moral lessons as well as cultivate practical life skills fundamental for their later learning and maturation. On the other hand, I would side with those who argue that the effects of teenage experiences are more pronounced. Initially, the vast majority of juveniles undergo immense stress stemming from their study and career orientation. At this period, they have to make momentous decisions themselves, and they also encounter certain difficulties and failures. Hence, lacking motivation to fulfill their goals, it will be impossible for teenagers to attain success in life. Furthermore, people of this age might be susceptible to a host of temptations from either the media or their peer relationships. In reality, there are many cases in which teenagers who used to be obedient children form antisocial habits and traits due to their acquaintance with debauchees. In conclusion, although first preparations for developing children are vital, I strongly opine that happenings of adolescence are of utmost importance to individual accomplishments.
There is no denying that each stage of life plays a crucial role in individual growth. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that childhood experiences are formative, I believe that teenage years have a more profound influence on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
education at schools exert
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
noticeable impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
First
, a child’s personality and behavior are
powerfully
shaped by parental upbringing. To exemplify, if parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their unconditional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and teach them proper manners, they may become law-abiding citizens in the future and vice versa. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, early exposure to the surroundings is likely to foster preschoolers’ cognitive development. They will be able to learn valuable moral lessons
as well
as cultivate practical life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
fundamental for their later learning and maturation.

On the other hand
, I would side with those who argue that the effects of teenage experiences are more pronounced.
Initially
, the vast majority of juveniles undergo immense
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
stemming from their study and career orientation. At this period, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
momentous decisions themselves, and they
also
encounter certain difficulties and failures.
Hence
, lacking motivation to fulfill their goals, it will be impossible for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to attain success in life.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of this age might be susceptible to a host of temptations from either the media or their peer relationships. In reality, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases in which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be obedient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
form antisocial habits and traits due to their acquaintance with debauchees.

In conclusion
, although
first
preparations for developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are vital, I
strongly
opine that happenings of adolescence are of utmost importance to individual accomplishments.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that the experiences children have before they go to school will have the greatest effect on their future life. Others argue that experiences gained when they are teenagers have a bigger influence.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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