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Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued by many that non-profit organizations services should be implemented into secondary school. I completely agree with this opinion and in this essay I will state the reasons for my view. The most compelling reason for holding my view is that the unpaid community service is really a good action from school for the student to learn about something worth it more than just gain some money. This is because many people nowadays are live for money and make them blind on it, like they will do anything just to get so much money even the bad things. In fact, there are lots of corruption cases in this world either in the government or in the company. From this, people can learn that if people just live for money, then they will get a bad things. Furthermore, this program will also improve student’s skill of sense in reacting with community services. They will know how to put their self into a new community especially when the high school student have been graduated and they will be face a real world. In conclusion, the unpaid community service must be put into the high school program because doing this is an effective method for student improve and develop their sense with another people. If student who learn this skill they will get so much benefit on their life and make them a better person one day. In addition, being a successful person not just have so much money but also have a kind of heart too.
It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that non-profit organizations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
should
be implemented
into secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion and in this essay I will state the reasons for my view.

The most compelling reason for holding my view is that the unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
is
really
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
action from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to learn about something worth it more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them blind on it, like they will do anything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
even the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things. In fact, there are lots of corruption cases in this world either in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
or in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. From this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can learn that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, then they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things.

Furthermore
, this program will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
of sense in reacting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. They will know how to put their self into a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
especially
when the high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
have been
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
graduated and
they will be
Consider using either the past participle “faced” or the present participle “facing” here.
face
a real world.

In conclusion
, the unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be put
into the high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
program
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
doing this is an effective method for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
and develop their sense with another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who learn this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much benefit on their life and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them a better person one day.
In addition
, being a successful person not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
have a kind of heart too.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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