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Some people believe that studying at University or college is the best route to successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion .

Some people believe that studying at University or college is the best route to successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. 8myk
Some people believe that studying at University or college is the best route to successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion. There is an argument over whether school leavers should start working immediately right after graduation or pursue their studies into college or University. Although working after school graduation has some benefits, I believe that it is better to start career after college or finishing higher education. There are some reasons why people think it is beneficial to start working without continuing their education. Firstly, if youngsters, who graduate from high school, start working immediately, it can be beneficial in terms of being financially independent. This, in turn, frees parents from responsibility, leading not to consider their children as a financial burden. Secondly, not only does starting to work early enable them to be independent with regard to finance, but also it prepares them to get into an adult life. By doing so, they learn to deal with hurdles in their lives, and they use these kind of experiences as a reference in the future. However, despite some of the benefits aforementioned, I support those who agree with the idea of pursuing job after getting college or University degree. Once, graduates from college or University finish their studies, they find the well paid job easily as they are more experienced and knowledgeable, and they are more likely to be hired by employers to do white collar job. Furthermore, those finishing higher education are more likely to earn fortune because of their long continuous academic career. Most importantly, having higher education degree guarantees job security. As a result they do not have to worry about downsizing as opposed to school alumni. In conclusion, while it is argued by some that it is good to work after school, I agree with those who say college or University is important.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that studying at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
or college is the best route to successful career, while others believe that it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
straight after school.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is an argument over whether
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
school leavers
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
immediately right after graduation or pursue their studies into college or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
graduation has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits, I believe that it is better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
career after college or finishing higher education.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
without continuing their education.
Firstly
, if youngsters, who graduate from high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
immediately, it can be beneficial in terms of being
financially
independent. This, in turn, frees parents from responsibility, leading not to consider their children as a financial burden.
Secondly
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "goes starting".
does starting
to work early enable them to be independent with regard to finance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it prepares them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into an adult life. By doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they learn to deal with hurdles in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of experiences as a reference in the future.

However
, despite
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
benefits aforementioned, I support those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of pursuing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after getting college or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
degree. Once, graduates from college or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
finish their studies, they find the well paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
easily
as they are more experienced and knowledgeable, and they are more likely to
be hired
by employers to do white collar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Furthermore
, those finishing higher education are more likely to earn fortune
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their long continuous academic career. Most
importantly
, having higher education degree guarantees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
security.
As a result
they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry about downsizing as opposed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
alumni.

In conclusion
, while it
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to work after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who say college or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that studying at University or college is the best route to successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
323 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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