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Some people believe that starting school at an early age is very beneficial for children, while others believe that children must stay home and attend to school at the age of seven. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that starting school at an early age is very beneficial for children, while others believe that children must stay home and attend to school at the age of seven. 5669A
Many say that attending to school or gaining knowledge before the age of seven can give children numerous advantages, whereas others claim that youngsters should be allowed to got to school when they are at the age of seven. From my point of view, I disagree with the former opinion and I will outline the reasons  of disagreement in this essay. Firstly, it  is widely acknowledged that there are the variety of demerits and reasons of starting to participate to school lessons at an early age. For instance, if any toddlers want to study earlier without nursery school knowledge, this can lead them to troublesome situations. These children are usually shy, uncourageous and have no ability to express their thoughts clearly. When  their teachers give them tasks based on a topic, they are more unlikely to comprehend and accomplish them successfully. Secondly, as wee see that, there two skills that youngsters should have for study better namely, critical thinking and creative abilities. Precisely, many of the children who are not at the age of seven  will not have developed these skills yet. For this reason, they cannot carry out special activities based on art and math. Additionally, children who began attending to school until 7 are likely to be passive for a long time and hide their abilities unless they have grown up. To sum up, it is advisable for parents that children had better go to schools when they are at the age of seven. Attending to school at an available age can give toddlers self determination, self-consciousness and an ability what is right and wrong.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
say that attending to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or gaining knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of seven can give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
numerous advantages, whereas others claim that youngsters should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
Did you mean "get"?
got
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
when they are at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of seven. From my point of view, I disagree with the former opinion and I will outline the reasons
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of disagreement in this essay.
Firstly
, it
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
is
widely
acknowledged that there are the variety of demerits and reasons of starting to participate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
lessons at an early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
For instance
, if any toddlers want to study earlier without nursery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
knowledge, this can lead them to troublesome situations. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
usually
shy,
Possible spelling mistake found.
uncourageous
and have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
to express their thoughts
clearly
. When
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
their teachers give them tasks based on a topic, they are more unlikely to comprehend and accomplish them
successfully
.
Secondly
, as wee 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that, there two
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that youngsters should have for study better
namely
, critical thinking and creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
.
Precisely
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are not at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of seven
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
will not have developed these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
yet
.
For this reason
, they cannot carry out special activities based on art and math.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who began attending to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
until 7 are likely to be passive for a long time and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
unless they have grown up. To sum up, it is advisable for parents that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
had better go to schools when they are at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of seven. Attending to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at an available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
can give toddlers
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self determination
, self-consciousness and an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
what is right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that starting school at an early age is very beneficial for children, while others believe that children must stay home and attend to school at the age of seven.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
260 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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