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Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion and examples.Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion and examples.

Despite money is considered by many people to be one of the most vital aspects contributing to happiness, I believe that it is possible to be happy in life even if an individual owes limited wealth. This essay will firstly, discuss the fact that money does not necessarily bring peace of mind and secondly, it will describe how good relation turns out to be the best treasure for a human. To begin with, it is true that money can help people to fulfil their desires and become happy, however, it does not necessarily follow that people with less property are unhappy. To elaborate, a lot of people with a huge revenue do not seem to be so happy as other underprivileged people, for many reasons, may it be, family bonds or work-life balance. For example, most of the developed countries are falling behind the developing nations in terms of contentment index as they are stressed with the fast-paced corporate culture. Therefore, not being able to spare some time for your personal life while earning wage cannot make a human feel true peace and enjoyment. Secondly, happiness is critically influenced by the love and care a man gets from his family and friends. To explain further, while money can bring opportunities to enjoy the pleasures, few people would enjoy them on their own. For instance, if a person is having a handsome salary but has no one around to be with him and share the love and affection, he is most likely to be upset with is life. Thus, being surrounded by a loving and affectionate family is more valuable than any amount of capital. To conclude, money is not a prime factor for happiness, despite being unfortunate in terms of richness, a person can be happier in life. Moreover, it is care and love of family that makes a person enjoy the best of this life.
Despite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be one of the most vital aspects contributing to happiness, I believe that it is possible to be happy in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
even if an individual owes limited wealth. This essay will
firstly
, discuss the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
does not
necessarily
bring peace of mind and
secondly
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relation turns out to be the best treasure for a human.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to fulfil their desires and become happy,
however
, it does not
necessarily
follow that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with less property are unhappy. To elaborate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with a huge revenue do not seem to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
happy as other underprivileged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons, may it be,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bonds or work-life balance.
For example
, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
are falling behind the developing nations in terms of contentment index as they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced corporate culture.
Therefore
, not being able to spare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time for your personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
while earning wage cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a human feel true peace and enjoyment.

Secondly
, happiness is
critically
influenced by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and care a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
from his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and friends. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
further
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can bring opportunities to enjoy the pleasures, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would enjoy them on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
For instance
, if a person is having a handsome salary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
has no one around to be with him and share the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and affection, he is most likely to
be upset
with is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Thus
,
being surrounded
by a loving and affectionate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is more valuable than any amount of capital.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not a prime factor for happiness, despite being unfortunate in terms of richness, a person can be happier in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Moreover
, it is care and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a person enjoy the best of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Give your own opinion and examples. Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Give your own opinion and examples.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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