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Some people believe that modern technology encourages more sociable behaviour. Others say that this tend to lesser sociable behaviour. Discuss both views with examples and provide your opinion

Some people believe that modern technology encourages more sociable behaviour. Others say that this tend to lesser sociable behaviour. Discuss both views with examples and provide your opinion 0AkJn
usage of technology is advancing day by day as seen most in the youngster the trend to buy new lastest phones that just new in the market. one school of thought believe that it allows more socializing while other thought it negatively impacts social behaviour. In my, opinion social media has more negative sides and fewer benefits that will be discussed in the following paragraphs. to commence with the positives of using modern gadgets to interact with others. As there are many ap such as Facebook, Instagram that applications give more opportunities for interaction. The person can find friends from all over the world, communicate any time of the day, at the same time it is cost-effective, convenient to usage, easy to learn the function, easy to handle for all age groups. The internet spreads all over the world, which is advantageous for everyone, who wants to communicates with a person who is 1000 miles far from them. in that way it increases the interaction not only who lives closes to them also with the far living relatives as well. on the other hand, it has negatives on the face-to-face interaction, as before the person meets each other personally. But now it's replaced by phones conversations, the public prefers more to this. As its good way but the society more treatment to do the interacting the unknown family and avoid communicating with their family member, which totally destroys the family bonding. the population giving more preferences to the other persons rather than their family which leads to giving birth to many conflicts which lead to divorce to conclude, excess of everything is bad. if someone uses technology beyond the limits that would be distractions. it impacts on the relationships as well as on the health like eye problems and more sitting leads to obesity.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
usage
of technology is advancing day by day as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
most in the youngster the trend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
new
Possible spelling mistake found.
lastest
phones that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
new in the market.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
one
school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
believe that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
more socializing while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
it
negatively
impacts social
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. In my, opinion social media has more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides and fewer benefits that will
be discussed
in the following paragraphs.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
commence with the positives of using modern gadgets to interact with others. As there are
Possible spelling mistake found.
many ap
such as Facebook, Instagram that applications give more opportunities for interaction. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can find friends from all over the world, communicate any time of the day, at the same time it
is cost
-effective, convenient to usage, easy to learn the function, easy to handle for all age groups. The internet spreads all over the world, which is advantageous for everyone, who wants to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "communicate".
communicates
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who is
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
1000 miles
far from them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
that way it increases the interaction not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
closes to them
also
with the far living relatives
as well
.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it has negatives on the face-to-face interaction, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
meets each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
personally
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it's replaced by phones conversations, the public prefers more to this. As its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the society more treatment to do the interacting the unknown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and avoid communicating with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
member, which
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroys
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bonding.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
population giving more preferences to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
rather
than their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
which leads to giving birth to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
conflicts which lead to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
divorce


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
conclude, excess of everything is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
someone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
technology beyond the limits that would be distractions.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
impacts on the relationships
as well
as on the health like eye problems and more sitting leads to obesity.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that modern technology encourages more sociable behaviour. Others say that this tend to lesser sociable behaviour. Discuss both views with examples and provide your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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