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Some people believe that it is the responsibility of parents to teach the right values to their children, while others think that the main duty of parents is to provide children with a safe environment to grow up in.

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of parents to teach the right values to their children, while others think that the main duty of parents is to provide children with a safe environment to grow up in. While teaching children the right values can teach them good behaviour, I believe that parenting children in a safe environment will help children to avoid negative behaviour. One the one hand, if children are taught the right discipline and values they tend to learn social behaviour. This is to say that children do not possess adequate knowledge about right and wrong behaviour and when kids are taught from a young age, they are more likely to behave well in their teenage. For example, a recent survey conducted by the American Bullying Association revealed that the kids who were taught moral values at home did not bully other kids in school. However, I believe that children’s age should also be taken into consideration while teaching them good behaviour. On the other hand, parenting and providing children a safe environment at home can avoid children from developing negative behaviour. In other words, when parents do not provide them a friendly environment they are more likely to develop anxiety and depression and this will cause them to develop aggressive and violent behaviour later on in life. For instance, a research study by The Guardian showed that 23% of the children in America developed some kind of violent and aggressive behaviour as they were brought up by divorced parents. I, therefore, believe that it is very important that children should have a good environment and proper parenting in their childhood. To conclude, although teaching discipline and right values can teach them social behaviour, I believe affectionate parenting and a friendly environment are more important as it will help children to avoid negative behaviour in life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
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believe
that it is the responsibility of
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parents
to teach the
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right
values to their
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children
, while others
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think
that the main duty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with a safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
to grow up in. While teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
values can teach them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviour’ is British English.
behaviour
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in a safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to avoid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviour’ is British English.
behaviour
.

Did you mean “on”?
One
the one hand, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are taught
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
discipline and values they tend to learn social
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviour’ is British English.
behaviour
. This is to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not possess adequate knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviour’ is British English.
behaviour
and when kids
are taught
from a young age, they are more likely to behave well in their teenage.
For example
, a recent survey conducted by the American Bullying Association revealed that the kids who
were taught
moral values at home did not bully
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
kids in school.
However
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
age should
also
be taken
into consideration while teaching them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviour’ is British English.
behaviour
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
and providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
a safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
at home can avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from developing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviour’ is British English.
behaviour
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not provide them a friendly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
they are more likely to develop anxiety and depression and this will cause them to develop aggressive and violent
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviour’ is British English.
behaviour
later on in life.
For instance
, a research study by The Guardian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 23% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in America developed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of violent and aggressive
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviour’ is British English.
behaviour
as they
were brought
up by divorced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. I,
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
in their childhood.

To conclude
, although teaching discipline and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
values can teach them social
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviour’ is British English.
behaviour
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
affectionate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
and a friendly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to avoid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviour’ is British English.
behaviour
in life.

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is the responsibility of parents to teach the right values to their children, while others think that the main duty of parents is to provide children with a safe environment to grow up in.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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