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Some people believe that it is necessary to use animals for testing medicines intended for human use.Others,however,think it is cruel to do that

Some people believe that it is necessary to use animals for testing medicines intended for human use. Others, however, think it is cruel to do that axQX
Several virus and diseases are being emerging because of the eating habits of human beings. Human beings are the real culprit to give birth to new kinds of virus. Corona virus is one of the example, which is believes to be spread from bats and snake. A large number of individual advocate that it is important to experiment medicine or vaccine to animal before applying it to the human beings, whilst other believe that it is cruel and in my opinion we should preserve animals rather than using them as a clinical trail. To embark on, a large number of scientists form different parts of world are undergoing research to find out the right vaccine and medicine for any kind of diseases. So, to make research successful and to find out the medicine, scientists first trial on animals. This is because newly developed medicine may have some complication, which may take the lives of people, as a result, to save the human beings life many researchers experiment on animals, if it works properly then only the medicine is ready to be consumed by people. For example, many research organization perform trial on monkey due to the fact that monkey has same genetic character as human beings. On the other hand, conducting clinical trial on animals for any medicine can be harmful for them and sometimes leading to death. Because of the medical experiment large number of animals lose their life yearly and some animal are on the verge of extinction because of the human behavior. Moreover, if the animals are being killed in this rate for experiment than it will harm our ecosystem. Human beings do not have right to kill living creature for their benefits, and right to live is the right of every living animals. Every living beings are equally important for the environment and should be given equal opportunities to survive. Therefore, to stop animals killing for medical trail government should implement strict policy and those who are involved in this activities must be given rigorous punishment. In conclusion, taking the life of other animals for the sake of human beings is completely wrong and it should be stopped immediately.
Several virus and diseases are being emerging
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the eating habits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Human
beings are the real culprit to give birth to new kinds of virus.
The term "Coronavirus" (= disease) is spelled as one word.
Corona virus
is one of the example, which is believes to
be spread
from bats and snake.
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
A large number of
individual advocate that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
or vaccine to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
applying it to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings, whilst other believe that it is cruel and in my opinion we should preserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
rather
than using them as a clinical trail.

To embark on,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
scientists form
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of world are undergoing research to find out the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
vaccine and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
for any kind of diseases.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
research successful and to find out the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
, scientists
first
trial on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
newly
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
complication, which may take the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
as a result
, to save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
researchers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiment
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, if it works
properly
then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
is ready to
be consumed
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For example
,
Possible agreement error. The noun research seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much research", "a good deal of research".
many research
organization perform trial on monkey due to the fact that monkey has same genetic character as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings.

On the other hand
, conducting clinical trial on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
can be harmful for them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
leading to death.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiment
large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
lose their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
yearly and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "animals"?
animal
are on the verge of extinction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
behavior.
Moreover
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
being killed
in this rate for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiment
than it will harm our ecosystem.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Human
beings do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
to kill living creature for their benefits, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
of every living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. Every living beings are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the environment and should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
equal opportunities to survive.
Therefore
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
killing for medical trail
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should implement strict policy and those who
are involved
in
Did you mean "these"?
this
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
rigorous punishment.

In conclusion
, taking the life of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for the sake of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings is completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and it should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
immediately.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that it is necessary to use animals for testing medicines intended for human use. Others, however, think it is cruel to do that

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
363 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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