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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion qXAr
It is universal that people must face hardship during their life span. Some people say, its best to accept failure rather than fighting the problems. Though, there are people that have believe in the opposite to. In this essay, I will discuss both the view with real life examples. On the one hand, the major reason for this mindset is tiredness. Many humans in their life goes through unwanted failures frequently, without having the taste of success. No matter how much they try, defeat waits for them in the end. Furthermore, they lack skills to outshine others. Nor everyone has same intelligence level neither experience to make them victorious. For example, survey conducted by BBC news in 2020, depicts that 75 % percent of individuals that are not successful are dump, and rest of them are unlucky. On the other hand, some mortals are filled with positive vibes. No matter how much difficult the situation gets, they always see good aspects and moves forward. Moreover, good support is also an excellent factor. Therefore, surrounded by true friends or family members that helps one to get out of bad situation is beneficial. Some assist in psychological ways, and other economically. Summing up, being patient also play a lead role. If someone is calm, they can find solution the problem and become motivated to tackle it. In my opinion, well it depends how much one is satisfied with the life. A little proportion of beings are happy with a small amount money. Hence, do not want to hard work. on the contrary, some people are always hungry for the success and works day-night to achieve so much as they can. At the end, I would say it is totally dependent on the personality.
It is universal that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
face hardship during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
span.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say, its best to accept failure
rather
than fighting the problems.
“Though” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Though
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that have
Use past participle here: "believed".
believe
in the opposite to. In this essay, I will discuss both the view with real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
examples.

On the one hand, the major reason for this mindset is tiredness.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
humans in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
goes through unwanted failures
frequently
, without having the taste of success. No matter how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
they try, defeat waits for them in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.
Furthermore
, they lack
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to outshine others. Nor everyone has same intelligence level neither experience to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them victorious.
For example
, survey conducted by BBC news in 2020, depicts that 75 % percent of individuals that are not successful are dump, and rest of them are unlucky.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mortals
are filled
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
vibes. No matter how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
difficult the situation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
, they always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
aspects and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
forward.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
support is
also
an excellent factor.
Therefore
, surrounded by true friends or family members that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
one to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
situation is beneficial.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
assist in psychological ways, and other
economically
. Summing up, being patient
also
play a lead role. If someone is calm, they can find solution the problem and become motivated to tackle it.

In my opinion, well it
The verb 'to depend' requires the preposition '(up)on': "depends on".
depends
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
one
is satisfied
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
proportion of beings are happy with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount money.
Hence
, do not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the contrary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are always hungry for the success and works day-night to achieve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
as they can. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
,

I would say it is
totally
dependent on the personality.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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