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some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. discuss both views and give your own opinion

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. discuss both views and give your own opinion GMLlx
Many people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that is better to try and improve such situations. I strongly believe that it is better to try and improve such situations because if they work hard and change their life by getting a good well paying job they can save up money for future and have a sound financial planning and a person should not just accept defeat and do a job that do not like because if you do not like the work you are currently doing there is little margin of success. One should try and get a job that they like, pays them well and earns people respect in the society. On the other hand, there are many people who think that It is better to accept a bad situation like shortage of money and unsatisfactory job because people think if they can handle and live in such situations they will learn the value of money and will try and utilize it wisely. They feel that if they can adapt in such a situation and lead a life with hardships it will benefit them in the future. Some people think that it doesn’t matter what kind of a job they are doing as long as it pays them well. In conclusion I strongly agree with it is better to improve such situations because a person should be never have shortage of money as it is important to earn money in this modern times and one should work hard to change such situations and have a good and respectable job that provides them with a luxurious life and financially stable one.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it is best to accept a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
, such as an unsatisfactory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or shortage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Others argue
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
such situations.

I
strongly
believe that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if they work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
by getting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
well paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
they can save up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for future and have a sound financial planning and a person should not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
accept defeat and do a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that do not like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if you do not like the work you are
currently
doing there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
margin of success. One should
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that they like, pays them well and earns
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
respect in the society.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to accept a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
like shortage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and unsatisfactory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
if they can handle and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
they will learn the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and will
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
utilize it
wisely
. They feel that if they can adapt in such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
and lead a life with hardships it will benefit them in the future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it doesn’t matter what
If 'kind' is a classification term, 'a' is not necessary. Use "kind of". (The phrases 'kind of' and 'sort of' are informal if they mean 'to some extent'.)
kind of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
they are doing as long as it pays them well.

In
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, I".
conclusion I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a person should be never
Consider using a past participle here: "had".
have
shortage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in this modern times and one should work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
and have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and respectable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that provides them with a luxurious life and
financially
stable one.
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IELTS essay some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. discuss both views and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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