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Some people believe that give opportunities to young people should encourage the older that to retire .Do you agree or disagree.?

Some people believe that give opportunities to young people should encourage the older that to retire. ? VQYPD
Giving some job opportunities to the young people must motivate those who are older to retire is thought by few individuals. I utterly agree with this give notion because of the reasons scrutinize in the subsequent textual. To commence with, there are ample of reasons that, how older people gain motivation by dint of younger workers in their company or office. First and formost, They gain some new experience from them. To epitom, desire of new experience is being developed in the employees. hence, whenever, new generation becomes employe in workplace, older one definitely be happy for that because the will learn more as well as new. Moreover, in some way it will works on the memorization of older. they do their work eagerly by seeing the young people in their workplace. They think and feel the power of young ages' days that definitely leads google impact on their mind and motivate them. To recapitulate, it is apparent that giving some job opportunities to the youngsters may leads good influence to motivate older people to do work more and more.
Giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
job opportunities to the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
motivate those who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
to retire is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by few individuals. I
utterly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this give notion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the reasons scrutinize in the subsequent textual.

To commence with, there are ample of reasons that, how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gain motivation by dint of younger workers in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
or office.
First
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
formost
, They gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
new experience from them. To
Possible spelling mistake found.
epitom
, desire of new experience is
being developed
in the employees.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
hence
, whenever, new generation becomes
Possible spelling mistake found.
employe
in workplace,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
one definitely be happy for that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Did you mean "they", "that" or "there"?
the
will learn more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
well as new.

Moreover
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
way it will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "work"
works
on the memorization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
do their work
eagerly
by seeing the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their workplace. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and feel the power of young ages' days that definitely leads google impact on their mind and motivate them.

To recapitulate, it is apparent that giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
job opportunities to the youngsters may leads
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
influence to motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do work more and more.

IELTS essay Some people believe that give opportunities to young people should encourage the older that to retire. ?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
180 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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