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Some people believe that developed countries should spend more money on space research, it should spend to the millions of people on Earth who are suffering from hunger. agree or disagree?

Some people believe that developed countries should spend more money on space research, it should spend to the millions of people on Earth who are suffering from hunger. agree or disagree? 7aK9y
In this advanced technological era developing countries are interested to research other than earth. Some people believe that developed countries should spend more money on space research while others disagree it should spend to the millions of people on Earth who are suffering from hunger. I strongly believe that developed nation should spend money ion the people to development. Firstly, there are millions of people who are suffering with health problem in the world and waiting for the help. Developing countries should provide the basic needs to the people around them with basic health conditions by medical camps and should provide awareness on healthy habits especially in remote areas all around the world. According to the report by university of Sydney on human health, more than 100, 000 people are deed in 2016 due to unable to basic medication. Secondly, there are millions of children’s who are needed the primary education which is very useful to the world development. There are children in all parts of the world without primary education. Developed countries should spent money on this type of people who are suffering with huger and sanitation needs. According the research conducted by world health organization reported that, more that 30% of world population are suffering with hunger and basic needs. In conclusion, spending millions of money on the public hunger is very helpful to the world development and environmental benefits when compared with space research.
In this advanced technological era developing
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countries
are interested
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
other than earth.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
believe that developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
while others disagree it should spend to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on Earth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suffering
from hunger. I
strongly
believe that developed nation should spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
ion the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to development.

Firstly
, there are
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millions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suffering
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problem in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and waiting for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. Developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should provide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
needs to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around them with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
conditions by medical camps and should provide awareness on healthy habits
especially
in remote areas all around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. According to the report by university of Sydney on human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, more than 100, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are deed
in 2016 due
Did you mean "to be unable"?
to unable
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
medication.

Secondly
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
of children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are needed
the primary education which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
development. There are children in all parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
without primary education. Developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "spend"
spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suffering
with huger and sanitation needs.
It appears that a preposition is missing after 'According'.
According the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
conducted by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
organization reported that, more that 30% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
population are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suffering
with hunger and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
needs.

In conclusion
, spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on the public hunger is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
development and environmental benefits when compared with space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that developed countries should spend more money on space research, it should spend to the millions of people on Earth who are suffering from hunger. agree or disagree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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