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Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. 7oeb
Mobile phones have come a long way since they first emerged, and have a direct impact in almost all walks of our life. While some are opposed to use of phones for children at school, I, however, agree with those who feel that children should have an access to utilize their mobile devices during school days. People who are not in favor of this view put forth several arguments, first and foremost, they believe that using phones may serve as a distraction during lessons. It is clear that in order for making most of the lesson and grasping the delivered knowledge, children are required to focus on the lesson. In this case, if they possess a device, they may be distracted all the time by notifications or messages sent by others, as a result, they may miss some important key features of the lesson when they are busy with happenings in their phones. This may lead to even academic failures if they carry on using their mobiles unnecessarily during lessons. Children, therefore, are demanded to get rid of this habit by parents and teachers as well in order to prevent these issues and succeed in academic terms. Despite the arguments mentioned above, I agree with those who wish to put an access for children to use mobile phones at school day. The primary reason of this could be related to language learning process. it is known that there are many useful apps to learn languages and having a phone may come in handy for children at school particularly when they need to search for some words or to do tasks during foreign language lessons. Moreover, in case of any emergency if children are in need of help such as injury or money, they can call their friends or parents to contact; this could help them keep in contact with their close ones in and out of school. In conclusion, it may be true that using a phone at school may pose some disadvantages; therefore, children should not use any. Nevertheless, I consider that they should be given a chance to use their phones at school since the potential outcomes it bring.
Mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
a long way since they
first
emerged, and have a direct impact in almost all walks of our life. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are opposed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, I,
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should have an access to utilize their mobile devices during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
days.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who are not in favor of this view put forth several arguments,
first
and foremost, they believe that using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
may serve as a distraction during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that in order for making most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lesson
and grasping the delivered knowledge,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are required
to focus on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lesson
.
In this case
, if they possess a device, they may
be distracted
all the time by notifications or messages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
by others,
as a result
, they may miss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
key features of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lesson
when they are busy with happenings in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. This may lead to even academic failures if they carry on using their mobiles
unnecessarily
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
,
therefore
,
are demanded
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of this habit by parents and teachers
as well
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
these issues and succeed in academic terms.

Despite the arguments mentioned above, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who wish to put
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "access".
an access
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
day. The primary reason of this could
be related
to language learning process.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is known
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
useful apps to learn languages and having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in handy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
particularly
when they need to search for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
words or
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
to do
tasks during foreign language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
.
Moreover
, in case of any emergency if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are in need of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
such as injury or money, they can call their friends or parents to contact; this could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in contact with their close ones in and out of school.

In conclusion
, it may be true that using a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
may pose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages;
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
any.
Nevertheless
, I consider that they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
since the potential outcomes it
Did you mean "brings"?
bring
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
361 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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