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Some people believe that celebrating personal events is a waste of money. Others feel that these celebrations play an important role in the lives of individuals and in society as a whole. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that celebrating personal events is a waste of money. Others feel that these celebrations play an important role in the lives of individuals and in society as a whole. GGx2
Some people think that celebration of personal events have valuable role to individual and society but other believes that is wasting of money and time. In this essay I want to descuss the both point of view and show my opinion for this issue. However, I reckon that on the whole the personal events is not important for developing of personality. On the one hand, we have people who think that the personal events very important part of life. This fact can be valuable and can help to create or support warm relationship with relatives and friends. In chieldhood celebrating this activity with friend might have huge influence to developing confidenc, communicting skills in youngsters characters. As statistic from the school psycologists association said that children who celebrated birthday with friend or relatives have skill to communicate higher than who prefer avoid this activities. On the other hand, some one reckon that all personal events are wasting money and time. In modern life celebrating of some date might coas pricy and can create problems not only host side and for guests too. Because gifts might be expensive and spended time for founing it might have so high price too. If you give not so valuable gift, you won’t show your respect or good relation for persent which invited you. That why sometime people who sensetive might be wory about it and make some injury for their family budget because they want to make good impression. According to information that malls share after Christmas people spend more than 30% of their years sallery for gifts in this period. I reckon that events and gifts not so valuable becaus more valuable time which you can sped with your friend or relatives. We have enoug possibility to crate warm atmosphear in easy way without any gifts or expesive food or bevarage. I guess for people who want to spend time together enough some tea with pie and relaxed converstion.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that celebration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
valuable
role to individual and society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other believes
that is
wasting of money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. In this essay I want to
Possible spelling mistake found.
descuss
the both point of view and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
my opinion for this issue.
However
, I reckon that
on the whole
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for developing of personality.

On the one hand, we have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of life. This fact can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
valuable
and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to create or support warm relationship with relatives and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
chieldhood
celebrating this activity with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have huge influence to developing
Possible spelling mistake found.
confidenc
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
communicting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in youngsters characters. As statistic from the school
Possible spelling mistake found.
psycologists
association said that children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
celebrated birthday with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
or relatives have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
to communicate higher than
Did you mean "whom"?
who
prefer avoid
Did you mean "these"?
this
activities.

On the other hand
,
Did you mean "someone"?
some one
reckon that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are wasting money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. In modern life celebrating of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
date
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
Possible spelling mistake found.
coas
Possible spelling mistake found.
pricy
and can create problems not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
host side and for guests too.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
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gifts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be expensive and
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "spent", the past tense form of the verb 'spend'?
spended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
founing
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
high price too. If you give not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
, you won’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
your respect or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relation for
Possible spelling mistake found.
persent
which invited you. That why sometime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Possible spelling mistake found.
sensetive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be
Possible spelling mistake found.
wory
about it and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
injury for their family budget
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impression. According to information that malls share after Christmas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend more than 30% of their years
Possible spelling mistake found.
sallery
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
in this period.

I reckon that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
valuable
Possible spelling mistake found.
becaus
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which you can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "speed"
sped
with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
or relatives. We have
Possible spelling mistake found.
enoug
possibility to crate warm
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atmosphear
in easy way without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
or
Possible spelling mistake found.
expesive
food or
Possible spelling mistake found.
bevarage
. I guess for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
want to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
together
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tea with pie and relaxed
Possible spelling mistake found.
converstion
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that celebrating personal events is a waste of money. Others feel that these celebrations play an important role in the lives of individuals and in society as a whole.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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