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Some people believe that animals should not be exploitated and should be given equal rights as humans while others believe that they are to fulfill their basic needs like food and research. discuss both the views including my opinion in upcoming paragraph. Give suitable examples.

Animals help in balancing the ecosystem. Some people believe that the animals should be given the equal rights as humans and should not be hurt. But others believe that animals are their to satisfy their basic needs like food and research. I would expound both the views including my opinion in the upcoming paragraph. On one hand, people believe that one should not hurt animals and should be given equal rights. Firstly, their are people who like to worship animals. Moreover, in Indian religion animals are considered to be the image of God so they are treated like humans only. Secondly, there are various animals conservation act launched by the government to protect animals. Thirdly, in US people treat animals as their family members and take them where they go. According to a survey by a leading newspaper, more than 50 percent of people are fond of animals and have animals in their home. On other hand, some people opine differently. They believe that animals are their to fulfill their needs. First of all, people hurt animals. To add on, they are killed in the slaughter houses to get meat and other stuff like leather. In Industries various items like coats, shoes, belt, ectectra are made from killing animals. Second of all, animals are used in various research laboratories. Additionally, when they want to detect some disease monkeys DNA are used to found the basic root cause of problem. Pondering over the topic, although many people use animals to fulfill their basic needs like food, clothes, and in research also, but I firmly believe that animals should be given equal right as humans and we should take care of them by helping them when they are in pain.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in balancing the ecosystem.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the equal rights as humans and should not
be hurt
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are their to satisfy their basic needs like food and research. I would expound both the views including my opinion in the upcoming paragraph.

On one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that one should not hurt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
equal rights.
Firstly
,
Did you mean “there”?
their
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who like to worship
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Moreover
, in Indian religion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are considered
to be the image of God
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
are treated
like humans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
Secondly
, there are various
An apostrophe may be missing.
animals
conservation act launched by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Thirdly
, in US
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
treat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
as their family members and take them where they go. According to a survey by a leading newspaper, more than 50 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are fond of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in their home.

On other hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine
differently
. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are their to fulfill their needs.
Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hurt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
on, they
are killed
in the slaughter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
meat and other stuff like leather. In Industries various items like coats, shoes, belt,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ectectra
are made
from killing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. Second of all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in various research laboratories.
Additionally
, when they want to detect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disease monkeys DNA are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to found the basic root cause of problem.

Pondering over the topic, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to fulfill their basic needs like food, clothes, and in research
also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
firmly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
equal right as
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
humans and
we should take care of them by helping them when they are in pain.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that animals should not be exploitated and should be given equal rights as humans while others believe that they are to fulfill their basic needs like food and research. Give suitable examples.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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