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Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. yXN8r
A number of people believe that to give an opportunity to children to make their own choices on a daily basis, may negatively affect them, and since they will dominate, think about their own demand. Others suppose that the young people should make decisions by themselves. In my opinion, seniors can provide some chances for juniors to take their own steps of what they want; however, there is a necessity to implement it carefully. Firstly, finance should be provided to children in a limited way. They have to be taught by parents in the right behavior and think on this occasion not only about their own preferences, but also about the value of family. For instance, a huge number of families in my country give money to children not in a considerable amount and the family members inform them that, what time you will buy some food there is a requirement to share it with others. Therefore, the child knows which actions will be beneficial for the whole society. On the other hand, there is a necessity for family representatives to give freedom and let children think about their choices. In particular, it will affect the individual in the future, because we are living in the era of capitalism and to make decisions is important. For illustration, Gregory Menkew as well in his book about “Ten principles of economy” took into account 4th principle, where he wrote about choices. People in our daily life have a possibility to follow his theory and it will have an impact positively on children. In conclusion, everything can be done properly by the families. The main strategy is the right behavior that will be significant for the whole family. Furthermore, at the same time they should give them a chance.
A number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
an opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choices on a daily basis, may
negatively
affect them, and since they will dominate,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
demand. Others suppose that the young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decisions by themselves. In my opinion, seniors can provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
chances for juniors to take their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
steps of what they want;
however
, there is a necessity to implement it
carefully
.

Firstly
, finance should
be provided
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Consider replacing "in a limited way" with the adverb for "limited"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a limited way
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be taught
by parents in the right behavior and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
on this occasion not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
preferences,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
about the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
For instance
, a huge number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
in my country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
money to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
not in a considerable amount and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members inform them that, what time you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
food there is a requirement to share it with others.
Therefore
, the child knows which actions will be beneficial for the whole society.

On the other hand
, there is a necessity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
representatives to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
freedom and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their choices.
In particular
, it will affect the individual in the future,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we are living in the era of capitalism and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decisions is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. For illustration, Gregory
Possible spelling mistake found.
Menkew
as well
in his book about “Ten principles of economy” took into account 4th principle, where he wrote about choices.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
in our daily life have a possibility to follow his theory and it will have an impact
positively
on children.

In conclusion
, everything can
be done
properly
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. The main strategy is the right behavior that will be significant for the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Furthermore
, at the same time they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
them a chance.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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