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Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. y8xP
Nowadays where preference of every individual is vital, especially for adolescent. It is commonly believed that children who compose their own choices on their day-to-day life (such as what they want to eat, wear, watch etc. ) is similar to those who only think about their own choices. While, numerous argue that children shall prepare decision about the matters which will affect them. In my opinion, children shall start making choice on their early age about their daily matters. On the one hand, allowing youth to form their own choice will form them independent and decision maker, especially in their young age where parents should allow them to choose what they want to do in their leisure time or what they want to eat or wear, on the contrary parents need to look after their choices to make sure that they will not follow incorrect direction. For instance, sometimes guardians allowing mobile phones to the children in their young age, if they will not look after that how child is using this facility will probably detrimental for children. Moreover, by making this kind of tiny choices their decision-making skills will improve. Consequently, Parents should always support their children's resolution and guide them if they are doing anything incorrect. On the other hand, a number of people believe that youth should only make decision about critical things which will affect them. However, sometimes youngsters are not better in decision-making merely because their guardian never admissible them to make any solution, and probably at that point of time they will make incorrect decision when they do not have anyone who can guide them. Although, there are a number of crucial decision where only children should opine on, to illustrate, what they want to do in their career, which course they want to choose, which collage they wanted to enrolled in etc. They can also seek advice from their mentors or parents, who are more experienced. To conclude, however making choices on necessary matters is extremely crucial, but to develop their great decision-making skill, parents should allow their children to form choice in their daily life.
Nowadays where preference of every individual is vital,
especially
for adolescent. It is
commonly
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
compose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
on their day-to-day life (such as what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to eat, wear,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
etc.
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
is similar to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, numerous argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
shall prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
about the matters which will affect them. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
shall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
on their early age about their daily matters.

On the one hand, allowing youth to form their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
will form them independent and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
maker,
especially
in their young age where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to choose what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to do in their leisure time or what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to eat or wear,
on the contrary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
need to look after their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
sure that they will not follow incorrect direction.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
guardians allowing mobile phones to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in their young age, if they will not look after that how child is using this facility will
probably
detrimental for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Moreover
, by making this kind of tiny
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
their decision-making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should always support their children's resolution and guide them if they are doing anything incorrect.

On the other hand
, a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that youth should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
about critical things which will affect them.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
youngsters are not better in decision-making
merely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their guardian never admissible them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
any solution, and
probably
at that point of time they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
incorrect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
when they do not have anyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can guide them. Although, there are a number of crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should opine on, to illustrate, what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to do in their career, which course they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to choose, which collage they wanted to enrolled in etc. They can
also
seek advice from their mentors or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are more experienced.

To conclude
,
however
making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
on necessary matters is
extremely
crucial,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to develop their great decision-making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to form
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
in their daily life.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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