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Some people believe that a person's intelligence is inherited from the parents, while others believe that environment is the main factor

Some people believe that a person's intelligence is inherited from the parents, while others believe that environment is the main factor MB5Ba
While a number of persons think that intelligence is passed on from parents, other people also say the major factor is the environment. This essay will discuss both views and state the most probable factor responsible for intelligence. On one hand, intelligence is passed on from parents. To expatiate, parents pass on their thinking abilities down to their children. According to Karl Marx the psychologist, a child has a 75% chance of becoming wise if one of the parents is wise and 70% chance of becoming a mongo if one parent is such such. A research conducted by Aborigines in 2010 about intelligence showed that about 93% of children whose parents were wise were naturally wise as well. On the other hand, it is argued that intellectual ability is influenced by the environment. When a child is born into a society of well-thinking beings, the child has an 80% probability of becoming a noble-thinker despite parents not being up to the ratings. This is so because the child does not amd will not only associate with parents but the community as a whole and hence, he will be influenced. Also, there are several contributing factors that influence the notion “intelligence” such as genetics and environmental Even though genes do play important roles in children's birth and many traits are passed on to these children through birth, I vehemently believe that the environmental factor is most influencing. A child may be born with a low-thinking capacity but can be shaped by the community and other external influences in the community such as teachers can bridge the gap between lowered-thinking ability and high-thinking ability. For instance, a survey conducted in New York in 2000 by Dickson revealed that more than 70% of the children who were born with low-thinking abilities were able to think very well after being handed to teachers to train them. In conclusion, the argument about intelligence being passed on to children from parents with intelligence being influenced by the environment are both valid but in all, I believe that the environmental factors has a lot of influence on a person's intelligence.
While a number of persons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passed
on from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
also
say the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
is the environment. This essay will discuss both views and state the most probable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
responsible for intelligence.

On one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passed
on from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. To expatiate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
pass on their thinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
down to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. According to Karl Marx the psychologist, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
has a 75% chance of becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wise
if one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wise
and 70% chance of becoming a
Possible spelling mistake found.
mongo
if one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
is
Possible typo: you repeated a word
such such
.
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
A research
conducted by Aborigines in 2010 about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that about 93% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wise
were
naturally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wise
as well
.
On the other hand
, it
is argued
that intellectual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
is influenced
by the environment. When a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is born
into a society of well-thinking beings, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
has an 80% probability of becoming a noble-thinker despite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
not being up to the ratings. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
does not
Possible spelling mistake found.
amd
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
associate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the community as a whole and
hence
, he will
be influenced
.

Also
, there are several contributing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that influence the notion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“intelligence”
such as genetics and environmental
Even though
genes do play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
roles in children's birth and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
traits are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passed
on to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
through birth, I
vehemently
believe that the environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
is most influencing. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
may
be born
with a low-thinking capacity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can
be shaped
by the community and other external influences in the community such as teachers can bridge the gap between lowered-thinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
and high-thinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
.
For instance
, a survey conducted in New York in 2000 by Dickson revealed that more than 70% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
were born
with low-thinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
were able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well after
being handed
to teachers to train them.

In conclusion
, the argument about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passed
on to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
being influenced
by the environment are both valid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in all, I believe that the environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
influence on a person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that a person's intelligence is inherited from the parents, while others believe that environment is the main factor

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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