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Some people believe that a person's culture is defined by their country of origin, while others believe that has only a minor influence. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that a person's culture is defined by their country of origin, while others believe that has only a minor influence. kl6d
Culture can be defined as a bunch of traditions, beliefs, social behavior, religious and moral values, which are passed from one generation to another. Some people argue that an individual’s culture is influenced by his nation of origin, whereas others think that nationality plays a less significant role in this. Although this essay will discuss both views, however, in my opinion, native land has a less crucial impact on culture in today’s era due to globalization. Firstly, culture is inevitably a reflection of one’s birth land. No matter how far persons live from their native place; they always stay connected to their roots. Culture is passed to children from their parents and relatives as a treasure, even though they have never stayed in their country of origin and have been raised in distant places. To illustrate, Indians residing abroad, such as the United States or Australia still celebrate Diwali and Holi with great zest. Moreover, they enjoy eating the delicacies of their nation even in a foreign land. Despite the above arguments, I strongly believe that culture is influenced by a person’s birthplace only to a certain extent, whereas it is highly influenced by the society and people we are surrounded by. Internationalization has given rise to cultural globalization; marked by the common consumption of cultures that have been diffused by the internet and international travel. Hence, we have easy access to different countries’ traditions, cuisines, and languages, so people tend to choose what they like. For instance, several foreigners are now adopting Indian food and yoga after the catastrophic impact of COVID-19 for their better health. Also, Buddhism is gaining wide popularity in different parts of the world because of the serene chants they offer and numerous people follow it even though they belong to different religions. Apart from it, nowadays, we often meet people from diverse social backgrounds while studying or working abroad or due to international tourism and we do not hesitate to embrace positive things about their culture such as some food items, attire, and values. In conclusion, it would be untrue to say that cultural influence on a person from their mainland is the only aspect; because it is undoubtedly dominated by the society they are raised in and the people they interact with.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Culture
can
be defined
as a bunch of traditions, beliefs, social behavior, religious and moral values, which
are passed
from one generation to another.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that an individual’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is influenced
by his nation of origin, whereas others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that nationality plays a less significant role in this. Although this essay will discuss both views,
however
, in my opinion, native land has a less crucial impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s era due to globalization.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is
inevitably
a reflection of one’s birth land. No matter how far persons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
from their native place; they always stay connected to their roots.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Culture
is passed
to children from their parents and relatives as a treasure,
even though
they have never stayed in their country of origin and have
been raised
in distant places. To illustrate, Indians residing abroad, such as the United States or Australia
still
celebrate Diwali and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Holi
with great zest.
Moreover
, they enjoy eating the delicacies of their nation even in a foreign land.

Despite the above arguments, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is influenced
by a person’s birthplace
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to a certain extent, whereas it is
highly
influenced by the society and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
we
are surrounded
by. Internationalization has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
rise to cultural globalization; marked by the common consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
that have
been diffused
by the internet and international travel.
Hence
, we have easy access to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries’ traditions, cuisines, and languages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to choose what they like.
For instance
, several foreigners are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
adopting Indian food and yoga after the catastrophic impact of COVID-19 for their better health.
Also
, Buddhism is gaining wide popularity in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the serene chants they offer and numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
follow it
even though
they belong to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
religions. Apart from it, nowadays, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from diverse social backgrounds while studying or working abroad or due to international
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
tourism and
we do not hesitate to embrace
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
things about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
food items, attire, and values.

In conclusion
, it would be untrue to say that cultural influence on a person from their mainland is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
aspect;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
undoubtedly
dominated by the society they
are raised
in and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they interact with.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that a person's culture is defined by their country of origin, while others believe that has only a minor influence.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
379 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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