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Some people believe men should not cry. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe men should not cry. OrWEM
It is believed that men ought not to cry. From my perspective, I partly agree with this idea. On the one hand, men should not cry. To begin with, men are the breadwinner in the house. They are the support of their wife and children. They must be brave to secure their family. The second reason, cry is a natural reflex of the body. Crying helps men to reduce stress. For example, when a man fails the exam or loses his job, crying helps him to pass over. On the other hand, men should cry. Apparently, men and women are equal. It’s normal for men to cry. They also need to show their emotions. When they feel exhausted, crying is a method for men to relieve fatigue. Besides, crying helps eye certificates. It is extremely important for eye regulation. In conclusion, crying has both advantages and disadvantages. In my opinion, I think men should cry.
It
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
ought not to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cry
. From my perspective, I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cry
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are the breadwinner in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. They are the support of their wife and children. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be brave to secure their family. The second reason,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cry
is a natural reflex of the body. Crying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
For example
, when a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
fails the exam or loses his job, crying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
him to pass over.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cry
.
Apparently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and women are equal. It’s normal for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cry
. They
also
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their emotions. When they feel exhausted, crying is a method for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
to relieve fatigue.
Besides
, crying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
eye certificates. It is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for eye regulation.

In conclusion
, crying has both advantages and disadvantages. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cry
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe men should not cry.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
155 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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