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Some people believe it is not Mandatory to use knowledge of mathematics

Although due to the advancement in science and technology, an enormous amount of people attracted towards the job which is related to computer or smart work but knowledge related to mathematics plays a crucial role in everyone life. To see how valid this argument is we have to look at both sides of debate. Even though, few people opine that mathematics is not a vital subject as in this modern era they can do most of the work with the help of their smartphone or laptop and they start depicting that they can do all their daily activities through the technology for instance in ancient time most of the people use abacus for calculation while now people start using calculator instead of abacus because of the accuracy and precision of the results also it consumes less amount of time as compared to abacus. Secondly, it also increases the efficiency of the person means in less amount of time they can do more work nor need to do too much hard work. A person which are moving with the technology it creates more job opportunities for them in the future. However, I believe that it is mandatory to teach the knowledge of mathematics to the students as the technology is created by the folks and it is not possible to completely rely on it for doing for our daily life activities as it starts making the person mind lazy which is very toxic for the human body or sometimes people starts doubt on their own capabilities. Last but not the least, scientists proved that all the monuments which are built such as qutub minar are totally based on the trigonometry which is part of mathematics so we can not ignore the power of mathematics. To conclude, knowledge of mathematics is vital for the children as it helps them to enhance their mental ability and they do not rely on the technology for doing day to day activities
Although due to the advancement in science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, an enormous amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attracted towards the job which
is related
to computer or smart
Use a comma before ‘but’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
knowledge related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
plays a crucial role in everyone life. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how valid this argument is we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
look at both sides of debate.

Even though
, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
is not a vital subject as in this modern era they can do most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of their smartphone or
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
laptop and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
depicting that they can do all their daily activities through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
for instance
in ancient time most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
abacus for calculation while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
using calculator
instead
of abacus
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the accuracy and precision of the results
also
it consumes less amount of time as compared to abacus.
Secondly
, it
also
increases the efficiency of the person means in less amount of time they can do more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
nor need to do too much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. A person which are moving with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
it creates more job opportunities for them in the future.

However
, I believe that it is mandatory to teach the knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
to the students as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is created
by the
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
folks and
it is not possible to completely rely on it for doing for our daily life activities as it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
starts
making the person mind lazy which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
toxic for the human body or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If ‘people’ is plural here, don’t use the third-person singular verb.
starts
doubt on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
capabilities. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, scientists proved that all the monuments which
are built
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
qutub
Possible spelling mistake found.
minar
are
totally
based on the trigonometry which is part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the power of mathematics.

To conclude
, knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mathematics
is vital for the children as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to enhance their mental
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
ability and
they do not rely on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
for doing day to day activities
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IELTS essay Some people believe it is not Mandatory to use knowledge of mathematics

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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