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Some people beleive that it is necessary to reavel abraod to learn about other countries but others think that it is not necessary because all the information can be seen on TV. Give us both views with your own views

Some people beleive that it is necessary to reavel abraod to learn about other countries but others think that it is not necessary because all the information can be seen on TV. Give us both views with your own views WygxD
Knowledge empowers a person and it can be imbibed by any means of communication or by visiting places. Couples of people believe in accumulating knowledge by exploring places abroad; others oppose this idea. Both views are going to be discussed in following paragraphs. Without shadow of doubt, Internet and TV has unfolded various dimensions of knowledge. Additionally, people can access to any aspect of knowledge of any part of the world by watching TV and surfing web sites without going to places across the globe and incurring heavy expenditure avoiding hassles of travelling. Therefore, these communication modes have made it possible and economical imparting virtual knowledge. On the other hand, the real experience sought by people by visiting the exotic places in real make people more confident and knowledgeable which a person can not merely by viewing or glancing them on TV or internet; moreover, visiting places make people familiar with various culture and language. It not only familiarizes them with number of places but also widens their mental horizon. Gaining plethora of virtual knowledge without heavy expenses and getting accessible to everyone makes TV and internet powerful tool of knowledge; nevertheless, people can obtain real knowledge and become confident personality by wandering to myriad places in the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Knowledge
empowers a person and it can
be imbibed
by any means of communication or by visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. Couples of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe in accumulating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
by exploring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
abroad; others oppose this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. Both views are going to
be discussed
in following paragraphs.

Without shadow of doubt, Internet and TV has unfolded various dimensions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can access to any aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of any part of the world by watching TV and surfing
Did you mean "websites"?
web sites
without going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
across the globe and incurring heavy expenditure avoiding hassles of travelling.
Therefore
, these communication modes have made it possible and economical imparting virtual knowledge.

On the other hand
, the real experience sought by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by visiting the exotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in real
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more confident and knowledgeable which a person can not
merely
by viewing or glancing them on TV or internet;
moreover
, visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
familiar with various culture and language. It not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
familiarizes them with number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
widens their mental horizon.

Gaining plethora of virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
without heavy expenses and getting accessible to everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
TV and internet powerful tool of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
;
nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can obtain real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and become confident personality by wandering to myriad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in the world.
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IELTS essay Some people beleive that it is necessary to reavel abraod to learn about other countries but others think that it is not necessary because all the information can be seen on TV. Give us both views with your own views

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
209 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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