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Some people become famous at a very young age. What are the advantages and disadvantage of this.

Some people become famous at a very young age. What are the advantages and disadvantage of this. n5G2
When we consider celebrities, some of them become popular at their teenage itself. This essay will discuss both the positive and negative aspect of this. If we go through the advantages, because of the fame there will be a drastic change in the entire life of the person. It will help him to increase the knowledge, confidence and courage to face the challenges in the field in which he got famous. Such eminent personalities will be recognised easily by the people from different areas of the world. These people can earn money at their young age. Moreover they will be an inspiration for others having same age. For instance Sachin Tendulkar, world famous cricket player became popular at his young age. Along with benefits some disadvantages also will be there for this teenage popularity. As they have to keep this fame throughout their life, it should be stressful. Because of this celebrity platform, small age and money they can easily be trapped and addicted to drugs, alcohol etc. All these finally leads to depression and suicidal tendency. Sushanth Singh Rajput, a well-known film actor who got suicidal recently is an example of such kind of incident. Because of the recognition, money and high quality life most of the people especially youth were attracted by the fame even though there would be some kind of demerits.
When we consider celebrities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them become popular at their teenage itself. This essay will discuss both the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspect of this.

If we go through the advantages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the fame there will be a drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the entire life of the person. It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him to increase the knowledge, confidence and courage to face the challenges in the field in which he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
. Such eminent personalities will be
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
easily
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas of the world. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can earn money at their young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
they will be an inspiration for others having same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
For instance
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sachin
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tendulkar
, world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
cricket player became popular at his young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. Along with benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages
also
will be there for this teenage popularity. As they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
this fame throughout their life, it should be stressful.
Because of this
celebrity platform,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
and money they can
easily
be trapped
and addicted to drugs, alcohol etc. All these
finally
leads to depression and suicidal tendency.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sushanth
Singh
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rajput
, a well-known film actor who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
suicidal recently is an example of such kind of incident.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the recognition, money and high quality life most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
especially
youth
were attracted
by the fame
even though
there would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of demerits.

IELTS essay Some people become famous at a very young age. What are the advantages and disadvantage of this.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
225 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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