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Some people argue that space exploration has had more to do with national pride than international effort. To what extent do you agree with this? How do you think space exploration will change in the future?

Some people argue that space exploration has had more to do with national pride than international effort. How do you think space exploration will change in the future? PlXw
To a certain extent I agree that space exploration in one way or another is an indicator of accomplishments of a country. However, I also believe that the cooperation of countries has a major impact in achieving success in this new field. Many individuals subscribe to the view that it is that multinational cooperation which has enabled scientists throughout the world to discover high-impact objects in space. Collaboration plays a key role in broadening the horizons in an unfamiliar sphere, since it includes plenty of differing views and ideas. In other words, there can be plenty of projects and suggestions from very different experts. This, in turn, could lead to choosing the best of possible designs, simply by selecting the most effective one. Additionally, during the process of learning and developing ideas, valuable exchanges could occur between the experts. Having said that, in some people’s viewpoint, these projects are now being run merely to boost a country’s status. In this way, some governments may boast with their authority to make it clear for others that they are capable of succeeding independently. An American commercial space exploration company SpaceX run by Elon Musk is a good illustration of this. The company itself successfully completed several space missions and is flourishing. In the meantime, the U. S. government is taking advantage of its success by having its status risen among the other developed countries. In the long run, I suppose that the term national pride will be put aside as long as more and more countries will have their own space exploration projects. Plus, the focus will no longer be on one’s sake, but for the entire world’s sake. To sum up, it seems to me that with a passage of time individual space exploration projects will no longer be a tool to impress others, yet international collaboration will take over the case. 310 words.
To a certain extent I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
in one way or another is an indicator of accomplishments of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
However
, I
also
believe that the cooperation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
has a major impact in achieving success in this new field.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals subscribe to the view that it is that multinational cooperation which has enabled scientists throughout the world to discover high-impact objects in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
. Collaboration plays a key role in broadening the horizons in an unfamiliar sphere, since it includes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of differing views and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, there can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
and suggestions from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
experts. This, in turn, could lead to choosing the best of possible designs,
simply
by selecting the most effective one.
Additionally
, during the process of learning and developing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, valuable exchanges could occur between the experts.

Having said that, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s viewpoint, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
being run
merely
to boost a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
status. In this way,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
may boast with their authority to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
for others that they are capable of succeeding
independently
. An American commercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
SpaceX run by Elon Musk is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
itself
successfully
completed several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
missions and is flourishing. In the meantime, the U. S.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is taking advantage of its success by having its status risen among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
.

In the long run, I suppose that the term national pride will
be put
aside as long as more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
. Plus, the focus will no longer be on one’s sake,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for the entire world’s sake.

To sum up, it seems to me that with a passage of time individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
will no longer be a tool to impress others,
yet
international collaboration will take over the case.

310 words.
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IELTS essay Some people argue that space exploration has had more to do with national pride than international effort. How do you think space exploration will change in the future?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
313 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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