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some people are of the view that only University education can ensure success whereas many other oppose this view discuss both the views and give your opinion

some people are of the view that only University education can ensure success whereas many other oppose this view discuss both the views and give your opinion BRQw
Now in morden era mor and more people are choice to go University, some people are of the opinion that the only purpose of University education is to improve job and other people think that no need University education for better job in this easy I will descuse both the view and give my opinion. Firstly it is certainly true that one of main reason of University is to secure a better job. the majority of people want to improve their future career to attending University education. one of the best way to do this. Secondly academic qualifications are required in many professions. For example, it is impossible to become a doctor, teacher or lawyer without having relevant degrees. also nowadays the job market is becoming increasingly competitive and sometimes there are hundreds of applicants for one position in a company. . On the other hand there are other people who achieve a lot without going to college. In today's society, many youngsters want to start earning money as soon as possible. In this way, they become more independent and able to afford their own expenses or start a family. They may have a chance to progress more quickly from their practical skills and real experience of work. Summing it up, I am in favour of university education because only a few people have got real talent to achieve name and fame in a short span of time. However, shortcuts do not work for everyone.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
morden
era
Possible spelling mistake found.
mor
and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are choice to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the opinion that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
purpose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that no need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in this easy I will
Possible spelling mistake found.
descuse
both the view and give my opinion.

Firstly
it is
certainly
true that one of main reason of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
is to secure a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their future career to attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
one
of the best way to do this.
Secondly
academic qualifications
are required
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
professions.
For example
, it is impossible to become a doctor, teacher or lawyer without having relevant degrees.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
also
nowadays the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market is becoming
increasingly
competitive and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
there are hundreds of applicants for one position in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


On the other hand
there are other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who achieve a lot without going to college. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
earning money as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible. In this way, they become more independent and able to afford their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
expenses or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a family. They may have a chance to progress more
quickly
from their practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and real experience of work.

Summing it up, I am in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
real talent to achieve name and fame in a short span of time.
However
, shortcuts do not work for everyone.
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IELTS essay some people are of the view that only University education can ensure success whereas many other oppose this view discuss both the views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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