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Some people are of the opinion that there should be a car-free day once every month, on which no private vehicles are allowed on the road. Discuss the advantages and possible disadvantages

Some people are of the opinion that there should be a car-free day once every month, on which no private vehicles are allowed on the road. Discuss the advantages and possible disadvantages x9L9
Few number of peoples have a opinion, that car-free day are required that has to be followed during once in a month. On following this, we can able to promote use of public transport and reduce pollution. In this essay, we will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of car-free day. The advantage, on introducing car-free day is we can drastically reduce the air and noise pollution in the environment for a day. By that, the nature can repair itself on emitting fresh air in to the earth. Eventually, the number of occurrence of accident for a particular day will also be reduced enormously. On addition to it, the government will get a chance in promoting the usage of private transport by the individuals, who are required to travel for there office or other place for there own use. For instance, the country like Jakarta, government is following every Sunday as car-free day to create awareness among there peoples to use public transport. The drawback on imposing car-free day are, if a person wants to travel a long distance either for his work or other important plan for the day, he feel difficulty in finding the transport and connection points. That is, he need to take up any of the option like bus or train as the car-free day is conducted he is supposed to travel in overcrowded vehicle for his own purpose. However, the disabled person or the patient cannot able to move easily if they are supposed to take local transport. On concluding, by following or imposing some exceptions for old and disable person on the car- free day, peoples will support without any hesitation. It is good to have a car-free day for every nation and all the nation government concentrate on this for the betterment of universe.
Possible agreement error. The noun number seems to be countable; consider using: "Few numbers".
Few number
of peoples have
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
opinion, that car-free day
are required
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be followed
during once in a month. On following this, we
Please check whether one of these words is redundant.
can able to
promote
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
pollution. In this essay, we will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of car-free day. The advantage, on introducing car-free day is we can
drastically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the air and noise pollution in the environment for a day. By that, the nature can repair itself on emitting fresh air in to the earth.
Eventually
, the number of occurrence of accident for a particular day will
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
enormously
.
Did you mean "in"?
On
addition to it, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance in promoting the usage of private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
by the individuals, who
are required
to travel for there office or other place for there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
For instance
, the country like Jakarta,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is following every Sunday as car-free day to create awareness among there peoples to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
. The drawback on imposing car-free day are, if a person wants to travel a long distance either for his work or other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
plan for the day, he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "feels", "felt".
feel
difficulty in finding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
and connection points.
That is
, he need to take up any of the option like bus or train as the car-free day
is conducted
he
is supposed
to travel in overcrowded vehicle for his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
purpose.
However
, the disabled person or the patient
Did you mean "cannot be able"?
cannot able
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
easily
if they
are supposed
to take local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
. On concluding, by following or imposing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
exceptions for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and disable person on the car- free day, peoples will support without any hesitation. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to have a car-free day for every nation and all the nation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
concentrate on this for the betterment of universe.

IELTS essay Some people are of the opinion that there should be a car-free day once every month, on which no private vehicles are allowed on the road. Discuss the advantages and possible disadvantages

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
301 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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