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Some parents feel that it is important to protect their children from all possible dangers while other other parents believe that letting their children take certain risks is important for development. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

Some parents feel that it is important to protect their children from all possible dangers while other other parents believe that letting their children take certain risks is important for development. PVPL2
Raising children is one of the most challenging tasks of a parent's life. Effective parenting, help their offsprings to follow up the correct way in his life for a better prospective generation. Some people feel that their children must partake in some risky behaviours to develop the sense of independence. However, other guardians believe that rising their offsprings under their protection is better, as they want to keep them safe life dangers. Personally, I support the latter approach. Many parents allow their children freedom to leave and make their own decisions regardless the high level of risk and the negative impacts that this trend may have. It is considered to be better for children to live independently if they wish as they gain more worldly experience and they can feel more confident in the future to address any difficulties that may appear in the 9prospective. For example, my cousin decided to work instead of studying in higher education and now he has gained much more experience about the independence life and earning his own money. This learning would be impossible if my uncle has pressured him to study and live under his protection. Many parents intervene in their offspring lives as they believe that they know better which decisions are the best for their impending. Most of them feel terrible if their children are sad due to wrong decisions that have been taken by them. Also, they forbid their children to participate in a variety of risky activities such as driving a motorcycle or preventing hanging out with that exert a bad influence to their children. For example, parents do not allow them to make friends who are involved in drugs or crimes as they believe that this is a bad influence. These are the reasons which I believe that guidance is very important as allowing them to live independently and take certain risks may have detrimental consequences both individually and for the community. To conclude, some guardians want to control their child's life as they are afraid of their future while others allow them to explore the world and take own decisions. However, I strongly believe that the guardians have much more experience and they know better to guide them in the right way.
Raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is one of the most challenging tasks of a parent's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Effective parenting,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
to follow up the correct way in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
prospective generation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
partake in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
risky
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
to develop the sense of independence.
However
, other guardians
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that rising their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
under their protection is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
, as they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
.
Personally
, I support the latter approach.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
freedom to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
regardless the high level of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts that this trend may have. It
is considered
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
independently
if they wish as they gain more worldly
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
experience and
they can feel more confident in the future to address any difficulties that may appear in the 9prospective.
For example
, my cousin decided to work
instead
of studying in higher education and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
he has gained much more experience about the independence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and earning his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
money. This learning would be impossible if my uncle has pressured him to study and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
under his protection.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
parents intervene in their offspring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that they know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
are the best for their impending. Most of them feel terrible if their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are sad due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
that have
been taken
by them.
Also
, they forbid their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to participate in a variety of risky activities such as driving a motorcycle or preventing hanging out with that exert a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For example
, parents do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends who
are involved
in drugs or crimes as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence. These are the reasons which I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that guidance is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as allowing them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
independently
and take certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
may have detrimental consequences both
individually
and for the community.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
guardians want to control their child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as they are afraid of their future while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to explore the world and take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
.
However
, I
strongly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the guardians have much more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
experience and
they know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to guide them in the right way.
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IELTS essay Some parents feel that it is important to protect their children from all possible dangers while other other parents believe that letting their children take certain risks is important for development.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
375 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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