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Some museums and art galleries charge admission fees, while others have free entry. Do you think the advantages of charging for admission outweigh the disadvantages?

Some museums and art galleries charge admission fees, while others have free entry. Do you think the advantages of charging for admission outweigh the disadvantages? 2bbPJ
To get idea about upcoming future we need to hold hands with our history and definately learning from our pastmistakes is the best lesson for future inventions and progress. For engaging with our historical morals and lessons museums and art galleries are main source and to keep them up to date with it's own enhancement we should contribute by doing something by our own way. Firstlly, if we talk about fees which are applicable to attend the historic journey are must for further given reasons. By contributing to a good cause of museum we can see better conservation of art. For example, museums do not have any income besides donation from goverments or other entity. If they charge minimal amount of fees for the visit then they can really use that money for further enhancement. Secondlly, in art galleries people can get inspire for next project in that perticular art by getting some money for their upcoming work. Howeven, sometimes they use money for a wrong purposes by apart from that they can really use that amont to inspire young generation too. As further we talked about the disadvantages, offern this hapens that some low cast comunities do not get to see art and history in the day light because o the admission charges Which can be fixed by applying new rules and regulation for entry fees. So at the time of the conclusion, I strongly agree with charging entry fees when it comes to visiting museums and artistic galleries for futher rectification in ambiance and appreciation with proper categorization of fees structure.
To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about upcoming future we need to hold hands with our history and
Possible spelling mistake found.
definately
learning from our
Possible spelling mistake found.
pastmistakes
is the best lesson for future inventions and progress. For engaging with our historical morals and lessons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
galleries are main source and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them up to date with
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (=it is)?
it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
enhancement we should contribute by doing something by our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Firstlly
, if we talk about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
which are applicable to attend the historic journey are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
for
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
reasons. By contributing to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
better conservation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
do not have any income
besides
donation from
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverments
or other entity. If they charge minimal amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
for the visit then they can
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that money for
further
enhancement.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Secondlly
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
galleries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
inspire for
next
project in that
Possible spelling mistake found.
perticular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
by getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money for their upcoming work.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Howeven
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
money for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
purposes by apart from that they can
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
amont
to inspire young generation too.

As
further
we talked about the disadvantages,
Possible spelling mistake found.
offern
this
Possible spelling mistake found.
hapens
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
low cast
Possible spelling mistake found.
comunities
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and history in the day light
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
o the admission charges Which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
by applying new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulation for entry fees.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
at the time of the conclusion, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with charging entry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and artistic galleries for
Possible spelling mistake found.
futher
rectification in ambiance and appreciation with proper categorization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
structure.
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IELTS essay Some museums and art galleries charge admission fees, while others have free entry. Do you think the advantages of charging for admission outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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