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Some individuals say that young people should work while in school, while others frown at this.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some individuals say that young people should work while in school, while others frown at this. LrbBV
Certain persons believe that teens should take up jobs while they school as it affords some of them the privilege to gain experience. Others are of the opinion that this will put a lot of strain on them. My view is that teens should work alongside with their studies. On one hand, it affords them the privilege to gain experience. When young people work alongside schooling, it enables them to acquire skills that will be useful when they finish school eventually. Such skills like fashion designing, shoe making, computer training and etc learned will be fully utilised in the future when white collar jobs are not forth coming. For instance, a recent article in New York magazine on teenagers and work reports that 70% of young people who worked while in higher institution performed better in their various jobs when they finished school as compared to those that schooled alone. On the other hand, allowing teens work while they are schooling will put some of them under a lot of strain. Students have different capacities. Some have high stress threshold while others have low stress threshold. Therefore, combining work and study for these teens put them under undue pressure which might subsequently lead to mental or physical breakdown thereby affecting their academics. To illustrate, l read a recent article published by the American Psychiatry Association which reveals that depression is prevalent among teenagers who work and study at the same time as a result of accumulated stress. In my opinion, teens should be encouraged to take up work while they study in order to gain experience. Also, it reduces the financial burden on their parents and allows them learn how to manage both human n material resources.
Certain persons believe that
teens
should take up jobs while they school as it affords
some
of them the privilege to gain experience. Others are of the opinion that this will put
a lot of
strain on them. My view is that
teens
should
work
alongside with their studies.

On one hand, it affords them the privilege to gain experience. When young
people
work
alongside schooling, it enables them to acquire
skills
that will be useful when they finish school
eventually
. Such
skills
like fashion designing, shoe making, computer training
and etc
learned will be
fully
utilised
in the future when white collar jobs are not forth coming.
For instance
, a recent article in
New York magazine
on
teenagers
and
work
reports that 70% of young
people
who worked while in higher institution performed better in their various jobs when they finished school as compared to those that schooled alone.

On the other hand
, allowing
teens
work
while they are schooling will put
some
of them under
a lot of
strain. Students have
different
capacities.
Some
have high
stress
threshold while others have low
stress
threshold.
Therefore
, combining
work
and study for these
teens
put them under undue pressure which might
subsequently
lead to mental or physical breakdown thereby affecting their academics. To illustrate, l read a recent article published by the American Psychiatry Association which reveals that depression is prevalent among
teenagers
who
work
and study at the same time
as a result
of accumulated
stress
.

In my opinion,
teens
should
be encouraged
to take up
work
while they study in order to gain experience.
Also
, it
reduces
the financial burden on their parents and
allows
them
learn
how to manage both human n material resources.
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IELTS essay Some individuals say that young people should work while in school, while others frown at this.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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