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In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have more positive or negative effects on the society?

In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have more positive or negative effects on the society? ByGm
In some part of the world, some people who have above 60 years old still can be productive if compare with teenager. however, particularly the measure rise recently. I consider these trend have more positive effects depending negatively in this society. Two main factors are behind why i mentioned that the first is elderly people can be possible to life more energetic. In other words, the older who life in village like west Sumatera, mostly productive to farm around 70% in compare with teenager who spend they time on mobile phones. The second factor, linked to the fist, the elderly more wise than teenager to decide what the best act to environmental. In addition, these statement tends to maintain environmental for the next generation, for instance, 85% older people in Indonesia mostly to plant forest avoiding the forestation, and it is serve waters and avoiding floods. Despite the elderly have the physical drawback, it is not vital. In my view, these is not only the elderly issues due to most younger also have that problems, such as healthy problems. Take my experience for example, most my friends who is younger more have disease like cancer, asma and indigestion comparison with their grandparents. Clearly, although older have deficiency, they can surpass negative effects. In conclusion, increased of older people will be generate a better life for society or for the next generation, I do feel most of them could be still productive and a wiseman. Even though they have problem issues, they could more responsibility with environmental.
In
some
part of the world,
some
people
who
have above 60 years
old
still
can be productive if compare with
teenager
.
however
,
particularly
the measure rise recently. I consider these trend have more
positive
effects
depending
negatively
in this society.

Two main factors are behind why
i
mentioned that the
first
is
elderly
people
can be possible to life more energetic.
In other words
, the
older
who
life in village like west
Sumatera
,
mostly
productive to farm around 70% in compare with
teenager
who
spend they time on mobile phones. The second factor, linked to the fist, the
elderly
more wise
than
teenager
to decide what the best act to environmental.
In addition
,
these statement
tends to maintain environmental for the
next
generation,
for instance
, 85%
older
people
in Indonesia
mostly
to plant forest avoiding the forestation, and it is serve waters and avoiding floods.

Despite the
elderly
have the physical drawback, it is not vital. In my view,
these is
not
only
the
elderly
issues due to
most younger
also
have that problems, such as healthy problems. Take my experience
for example
, most my friends
who
is
younger more have disease like cancer,
asma
and indigestion comparison with their grandparents.
Clearly
, although
older
have deficiency, they can surpass
negative
effects.

In conclusion
, increased of
older
people
will be
generate
a better life for society or for the
next
generation, I do feel most of them could be
still
productive and a
wiseman
.
Even though
they have problem issues, they could more responsibility with environmental.
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IELTS essay In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have more positive or negative effects on the society?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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