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Nowadays, some workplaces tend to employ equal numbers of men and women workers.Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, some workplaces tend to employ equal numbers of men and women workers. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? k30n
It is true that the equal numbers between female and male workers are predominantly preferred by some workplaces. The equality has some impacts on workplace, and in my perspective, there are both positive and negative effects. The choice of equality has had an influence in productivity, social life, and responsibility. Firstly, the equal numbers can lead to productivity of labour in workplaces. For example, If man achieve rewards as a workaholic employee then a female commence trying to acquire that position, in dramatically. Secondly, both of genders, especially, women can show their abilities in society and try to obtain equality in terms of performance and knowledge. Finally, the genders make a sense of responsibility in a wide range and try to avoid mistakes lest both of sides should be redundant. On the one hand, these developments can be extremely positive. In workplaces, the equality of numbers can cause on conflicts that may negatively have impacts on their feelings and relationships as well. For example, two-gender-friends land jobs in the same positions then the girl take a pay-rise, then the latter can become counterpart and it can create a rival atmosphere. On the other hand, female can disregard her husband by being proud of equality. In conclusion, the choice of equality in workplaces has certainly got advantages, but not all of outcomes of it have been positive.
It is true that the equal numbers between female and male workers are
predominantly
preferred by
some
workplaces
. The
equality
has
some
impacts on
workplace
, and in my perspective, there are both
positive
and
negative
effects.

The choice of
equality
has had an influence in productivity, social life, and responsibility.
Firstly
, the equal numbers can lead to productivity of
labour
in
workplaces
.
For example
, If
man
achieve rewards as a workaholic employee then a female commence trying to acquire that position, in
dramatically
.
Secondly
, both of genders,
especially
, women can
show
their abilities in society and try to obtain
equality
in terms of performance and knowledge.
Finally
, the genders
make
a sense of responsibility in a wide range and try to avoid mistakes lest both of sides should be redundant.

On the one hand, these developments can be
extremely
positive
. In
workplaces
, the
equality
of numbers can cause on conflicts that may
negatively
have impacts on their feelings and relationships
as well
.
For example
, two-gender-friends land jobs in the same positions then the girl take a pay-rise, then the latter can become counterpart and it can create a rival atmosphere.
On the other hand
, female can disregard her husband by being proud of equality.

In conclusion
, the choice of
equality
in
workplaces
has
certainly
got
advantages,
but
not
all of outcomes
of it have been
positive
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, some workplaces tend to employ equal numbers of men and women workers. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
226 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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