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smokers hould pay more for medical treatment To what extend you agree with?

smokers hould pay more for medical treatment x3Gb
Alhtough smokers cause different health problems, some people claim that they don’t have to pay extra for medical treatment. In my opinion, smokers should pay more tax to goverment, because some expenditures just occured by them. Smoking cause various health problems on human body. There are many studies which demonstrate the information. Besides, the smokers damage not only themselves but also the people which has been their environment. So smoking should be seen as a public issue. While smokers smoke, they disrupt other people in public area. They even damage their family members. It cause cost for families and society. In addition, the health problems cause huge expenditures for medical treatment. Cancer is just one of them. Treatment of cancer is also caused high cost for medical govern. And the drugs and medical devices which are needed to treatment increase imports for most country. So this effects economy the countries as negative. On the other hand, other group people which includes smokers mostly claim that they don’t have to pay it, because they are addicted, can’t give up to smoke. Besides, according to a small group, smoking doesn’t cause as much as told by common view. Actually, voice of the group is weak and their thesis couldn’t be accepted. Arguments are going on the topic. Although some people think that smokers don’t have to pay extra for medical treatment, in my point of view, goverment takes extra tax from the people. Because they occur many different problems which cause huge costs.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Alhtough
smokers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that they don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
extra for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
. In my opinion, smokers should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
more tax to
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
expenditures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "occurred", the past tense form of the verb 'occur'?
occured
by them.

Smoking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
various health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
on human body. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
studies which demonstrate the information.
Besides
, the smokers damage not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which has been their environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
smoking should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a public issue. While smokers smoke, they disrupt other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in public area. They even damage their family members. It
Did you mean "causes"?
cause
cost for families and society.

In addition
, the health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
huge expenditures for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
. Cancer is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one of them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Treatment
of cancer is
also
caused high cost for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
govern. And the drugs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
devices which
are needed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
increase imports for most country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
this effects economy the countries as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.

On the other hand
, other group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which includes smokers
mostly
claim that they don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are addicted
, can’t give up to smoke.
Besides
, according to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
group, smoking doesn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
as much as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
by common view. Actually, voice of the group is weak and their thesis couldn’t be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
.

Arguments are going on the topic. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that smokers don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
extra for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
, in my point of view,
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
takes extra tax from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
they occur
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
huge costs.
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IELTS essay smokers hould pay more for medical treatment

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
251 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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