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big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. 03V1
Nowadays well payment has started to more considerable. It is argued that earning money is more significant than sense of fulfilment in the work places. This essay will discuss why job satisfaction is more advantageous despite some negative sides. Many employees are at first consider how much money they earn rather than what job they are doing. The reason is that when they have well payment then they can purchase whatever they want. Moreover, they believe that if you have big wages you can motivated much more to your work. A study showed that people who work with high salary are more productive than people work with average wages. Therefore workers believe that most of things depends money including motivation to work. Despite earning much less money, the idea that big salary is much more important than job satisfaction is completely preposterous. Job satisfaction gives you a sense of fulfilment. If you do not like what profession you do you can not move on. But doing what you like keeps you motivated and therefore leads to a career growth. Thus you can live a happy life. But having a big salary without job interested can not bring happiness. For example, Murat Yildirim who is an actor now. He was working for a company as an engineer and 10 years ago he left the his job although he had well payment. Because he was not happy while working there. after that he was became an actor and doing what he like. Having a profession which you like doing will bring you more content and good career. This essay argued that why people who claimed that well payment is more considerable than job content and underestimate the effect of what they believe. In my opinion, sense of job fulfilment is more important despite earning less money.
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to more considerable. It
is argued
that earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is more significant than sense of
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
places. This essay will discuss why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction is more advantageous despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
employees are at
first
consider how
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much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they earn
rather
than what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
. The reason is that when they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
then they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
whatever they want.
Moreover
, they believe that if you have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
wages you can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "motivate"
motivated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more to your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. A study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with high salary are more productive than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with average wages.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
workers believe that
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the things") or simply say "most things".
most of things
The verb 'to depend' requires the preposition '(up)on': "depends on".
depends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
including motivation to work.

Despite earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
salary is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction is completely preposterous.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Job
satisfaction gives you a sense of
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
you do not like what profession you do you can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
on.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
what you like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
you motivated and
therefore
leads to a career growth.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a happy life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
having a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
salary without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
interested can not bring happiness.
For example
, Murat
Possible spelling mistake found.
Yildirim
who is an actor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. He was working for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
as an engineer and 10 years ago he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
the his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
although he had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
he was not happy while working there.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
after
that he was
Consider using a past participle here: "become".
became
an actor and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
what he like. Having a profession which you like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
will bring you more content and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
career.

This essay argued that why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who claimed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
is more considerable than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
content and underestimate the effect of what they believe. In my opinion, sense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
despite earning less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
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IELTS essay big salary is much more important than job satisfaction.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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