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Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education?or it's government of poorest nations to look after their citizens themselves?

Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? or it's government of poorest nations to look after their citizens themselves? Y5gV
In today's era of globalisation every country is connected to each to each other by internet, trades among them and immigration. for the following reasons, I firmly believe that welthy nations should share their wealth among poorer nations by providing basic needs of human like food and education. There is now a belief that first world countries has modern technology and skilled human resources to tackle most of the bad situation. the necessitous nations government might be unable to provide pre-requisite to their citizens due to lack of administration skills or corruption. secondaly many people migrate to developed countries for higher studies and better employment which helps economy of these rich nations. Like many Indian IT personels are serving in the silicon valley. so It is moral responsibility of these moneyed countries to their home nations. In addition to that wealthy nation can help in providing health and education because nowadays anything happens on the any part of the world that affects the whole planet like coronavirus, global warming, and climate change. one more point to remember is that we are human beings before the countrymen of any nation and its upright to help humankind to live better on earth. I am inclined to believe that an affluent countries should help poverty stricken nation's to provide essentials like food and educations.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's era of
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is connected
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "to each".
to each to each
other by internet, trades among them and immigration.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
the following reasons, I
firmly
believe that
Possible spelling mistake found.
welthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
should share their wealth among poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
by providing basic needs of human like food and education. There is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a belief that
first
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
has modern technology and skilled human resources to tackle most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
situation.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
necessitous
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "nations'" or "nation's"?
nations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
might be unable to provide
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-requisite
to their citizens due to lack of administration
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
or corruption.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondaly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
migrate to developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for higher studies and better employment which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
economy of these rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. Like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Indian IT
Possible spelling mistake found.
personels
are serving in the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
silicon valley
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
It is moral responsibility of these moneyed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
In addition
to that wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in providing health and education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays anything happens on the any part of the world that affects the whole planet like coronavirus, global warming, and climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
one
more point to remember is that we are human beings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the countrymen of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
and its upright to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
humankind to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
better on earth. I
am inclined
to believe that an affluent
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "country"?
countries
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
poverty stricken
nation's to provide essentials like food and educations.
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IELTS essay Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? or it's government of poorest nations to look after their citizens themselves?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
221 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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