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Should the international community do more to tackle the threat of global warming?

The question of, if advanced countries should put more effort tackling the challenge of global warming is debatable. In my opinion, I believe, modernized community must ensure that extra effort is being adopted to solve the threat because of more complex machines that can cause serious pollution and alter climatic conditions. Complex machines in international society can cause tremendous pollution. The fumes emanating from these machines, consistently compete with the level of oxygen in the air which results in lesser oxygen for mankind in these areas. In addition, other poisonous gases are being released which can be carcinogenic and can further lead to death of humans. For example, In mid 90s, carbon from high technology generators used in Korea, led to the depletion of oxygen level in the society which lead to a serious catastrophe. Thus, it is of great essence that, international countries must do more to halt the negative effect of global warming. Also, sophisticated technology can alter climatic conditions in international societies. The use of aircraft and other modernized commuters can deplete the ozone layer which can further affect climatic conditions. For example, black fumes from complex commuters produced in Japan, led to a tremendous increase in tropical weather due to the depletion of the ozone layer that consequently caused an increase radiation from the sun. Thus, complex machines such as cars, trains, aircraft, can inadvertently cause a disaster in weather condition. In conclusion, the question of, if international countries should put more effort in tackling global warming is debatable. In my opinion, I believe it is pertinent for modernized countries to ensure more effort is required to tackle global warming because of more complex machines that can either result in pollution or alter climate conditions.
The question of, if advanced
countries
should put more
effort
tackling the challenge of
global
warming is debatable. In my opinion, I believe, modernized community
must
ensure that extra
effort
is
being adopted
to solve the threat
because
of more
complex
machines
that can cause serious pollution and alter climatic conditions.

Complex
machines
in
international
society can cause tremendous pollution. The fumes emanating from these
machines
,
consistently
compete with the level of oxygen in the air which results in lesser oxygen for mankind in these areas.
In addition
, other poisonous gases are
being released
which can be carcinogenic and can
further
lead to death of humans.
For example
, In mid 90s, carbon from high technology generators
used
in Korea, led to the depletion of oxygen level in the society which lead to a serious catastrophe.
Thus
, it is of great essence that,
international
countries
must
do more to halt the
negative
effect of
global
warming.

Also
, sophisticated technology can alter climatic conditions in
international
societies. The
use
of aircraft and other modernized commuters can deplete the ozone layer which can
further
affect climatic conditions.
For example
, black fumes from
complex
commuters produced in Japan, led to a tremendous increase in tropical weather due to the depletion of the ozone layer that
consequently
caused an increase radiation from the sun.
Thus
,
complex
machines
such as cars, trains, aircraft, can
inadvertently
cause a disaster in weather condition.

In conclusion
, the question of, if
international
countries
should put more
effort
in tackling
global
warming is debatable. In my opinion, I believe it is pertinent for modernized
countries
to ensure more
effort
is required
to tackle
global
warming
because
of more
complex
machines
that can either result in pollution or alter climate conditions.
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IELTS essay Should the international community do more to tackle the threat of global warming?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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