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Should the government invest money for the arts into public services instead?

Should the government invest money for the arts into public services instead? E3J3D
Currently, most governments spend a large part of their budget not only on public services but the arts as well. It is essentially necessary to channel a proportion of public revenue for the entertainment sector since most should be spent on public services. It is important that the rulers spend a significant amount of their budgets on public services because these are our hospitals, roads and schools, and they determine the quality of life. Taking the UK as an example, the ministry has recently reduced public spending on health and education, pave the way for an increased waiting list for hospital treatments and fewer teachers, both of which will have vigorous effects in the future. Having demonstrated the importance of ensuring that a large proportion of authority money is spent on public services as it is the only way to maintain standards and accessibility to everyone. On the other hand, this situation does not mean that the arts should be completely eradicated. Firstly, it is difficult for many arts institutions to generate much profit because people are not prepared to pay high entrance fees for places such as art galleries or theatres, so without some help from the government, these places may face a bankrupt. Secondly, the arts have a noteworthy effect on social identity, with many people getting great pleasure in going to see music and theatre performances. Besides, the performing arts and literary arts containing dance and literature help out to keep our culture and history alive for future generations. To conclude, even though the majority of public spending should be directed towards public services, spending money on the arts is not a waste and should continue. A balance is required to ensure public services are maintained whilst the arts remain available to all.
Currently
, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
spend a large part of their budget not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
as well
. It is
essentially
necessary to channel a proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
revenue for the entertainment sector since most should
be spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
services.

It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that the rulers spend a significant amount of their budgets on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these are our hospitals, roads and schools, and they determine the quality of life. Taking the UK as an example, the ministry has recently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
spending on health and education, pave the way for an increased waiting list for hospital treatments and fewer teachers, both of which will have vigorous effects in the future. Having demonstrated the importance of ensuring that a large proportion of authority money
is spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
as it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to maintain standards and accessibility to everyone.

On the other hand
, this situation does not mean that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
should be completely eradicated.
Firstly
, it is difficult for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
institutions to generate much profit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not prepared to pay high entrance fees for places such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
galleries or
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
without
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, these places may face a bankrupt.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
have a noteworthy effect on social identity, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
getting great pleasure in going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
music and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
performances.
Besides
, the performing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and literary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
containing dance and literature
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
out to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our culture and history alive for future generations.

To conclude
,
even though
the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
spending should
be directed
towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
, spending money on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is not a waste and should continue. A balance
is required
to ensure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
are maintained
whilst the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
remain available to all.
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IELTS essay Should the government invest money for the arts into public services instead?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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