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Should the government fund art? or it is just waiting money that could be better spent elsewhere?

Should the government fund art? or it is just waiting money that could be better spent elsewhere? BMYWV
One of the key roles of the government is managing the money which it gets via imposing different taxes on the population. There is a lot of debate about how this money should be managed and what it should be spent on. Some people argue that arts should not be the sphere of concern of the government; therefore, it does not need to be spending that much money on that sphere. However, I do not fully agree with this statement. In my opinion, funding of arts is one of the better alternatives and that is why. Firstly, the question depends on what other spheres the government will direct the spare money on. Many governments prefer spending the saved money on other spheres that are much less useful than arts. Typically, cutting expenses on such spheres as art means that the government will increase the finance of military or police departments. The closest example I can come up with is my own country, Russia. The government has seriously decreased the amount of money allocated to arts and education. Instead, it is now focusing on financing different army-related spheres which has resulted in decreasing of the quality of life in the country. Secondly, the sums of money assigned to arts, especially in the development countries, usually make up to a few percent of a country’s GDP. That means that redistributing it to other spheres would not make much difference. It also means that spending even less money on the art would be the same as if that country officially announced that it did not care about cultural development of its nation. Often such policies do not do any good to flourishing of the people. All in all, I cannot support the point of view of the people who suggest spending less money on cultural spheres such as arts. Music, painting and other creative embodiment of culture are among the most influential things that has made us what we are today. That is why governments should not underestimate this sphere of life
One of the key roles of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is managing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
which it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
via imposing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
taxes on the population. There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
debate about how this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should
be managed
and what it should
be spent
on.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
should not be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sphere
of concern of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
;
therefore
, it does not need to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
that much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sphere
.
However
, I do not
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement. In my opinion, funding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is one of the better alternatives and
that is
why.

Firstly
, the question depends on what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spheres
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will direct the spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
the saved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spheres
that are much less useful than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.
Typically
, cutting expenses on such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spheres
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
means that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will increase the finance of military or police departments. The closest example I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with is my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, Russia. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has
seriously
decreased the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
allocated to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and education.
Instead
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
focusing on financing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
army-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spheres
which has resulted in decreasing of the quality of life in the country.

Secondly
, the sums of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
assigned to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
,
especially
in the development
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up to a few percent of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
GDP. That means that redistributing it to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spheres
would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
much difference. It
also
means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
even less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
would be the same as if that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
officially
announced that it did not care about cultural development of its nation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
such policies do not do any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to flourishing of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

All in all, I cannot support the point of view of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who suggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spheres
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. Music, painting and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
creative embodiment of culture are among the most influential things that has made us what we are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
That is
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should not underestimate this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sphere
of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
life
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IELTS essay Should the government fund art? or it is just waiting money that could be better spent elsewhere?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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